Hi, I am Brady the Book Sailor! Don’t get us wrong, Book Sailors do not use boats! Although my friend GrapeBeard the Friendly Pirate has a bathtub ship. (But you’ll have to read the original Brady the Book Sailor story to find out about that.) I’m a really good reader, and I write my own stories! You might call people like this Book Eaters, but if you want to find about real Book Eaters, talk to my friends the Storyvores. You’ll have to read Brady the Book Sailor Meets the Storyvores to meet them! My Auntie used to write the Brady the Book Sailor stories, but now we share the series. But my name is going first.
(Auntie) Dude, whose computer is this website on?
(Brady) Duh, everyone’s.
(Auntie) No, I mean right now as we are typing this.
(Brady) Well, I’m dictating it, and you also get different perks other than that.
(Auntie) Oh, really? Like what perks?
(Brady) Like working with me and taking out the garbage. And also, getting to watch The Mandalorian with me and Minecraft Story Mode.
(Auntie) I was thinking more like that the perk would be free coffee, but I guess that sounds good too. Except for the taking out the garbage part.
(Brady) Aaaaaanywayyyyy…some of my favorite authors are Dav Pilkey, Aaron Blabey, Stephen Pastis, Tom Angleberger, and J.K. Rowling. You’re wondering, “How do you sail with books?” But that is why we are here. We use items called Magic Purple Library Cards. You can also get them in gold, but you have to do something special to get that version.
The Kind Little Truck was about to go on a big vacation, to the United Kingdom (UK) with his friends, Garbage Truck, Little Dipper, and Flat Head Car. His friends already had a passport, but he needed a passport, so he went to the Post Office and ordered one. Then he saw the Camera Car, who would take his picture, talking to his boss. The Camera Car said to the boss, “So do I really have to take that truck’s picture? I am so hungry. I need to take my lunch break early.” The boss said, “Not yet. You must also take pictures of any more people who are in line before you can go.” The Kind Little Truck noticed that there were more people in line and heard them asking for passports. The Kind Little Truck offered to help take pictures so that the Camera Car could eat lunch earlier.
Then The Kind Little Truck, waited for a couple of days and received his new passport in the mail. Next, The Kind Little Truck decided to help his friend Garbage Truck pack for the trip, because he was the only one who had not finished packing. He just couldn’t decide what to wear. Kind Little Truck knocked on Garbage Truck’s door at his house. Which was really a garage. The Garbage Truck answered and when Kind Little Truck walked in, there were clothes all over the floor, and the furniture, and his bed. Kind Little Truck said, “Lets get going, we have a lot of work to do.”
The Kind Little Truck said, “Lets throw all of the clothes into two piles, one to pack and one to leave. Garbage Truck said, “I have already done that, that tiny pile over there is the leave pile. All of this is the pack pile.” Kind Little Truck said, “You know you can only take two suitcases on the airplane and only two into the UK. This take pile would need 15 suitcases. So, I have an idea. You can pick out your 14 favorite outfits, and the rest have to stay behind.” Garbage truck said, “Oh no. How am I going to decide?” Kind Little truck took a blindfold and covered Garbage Truck’s eyes and told him to reach blindly into the pile and take out 14 outfits without looking. Kind Little Truck said, “When you pick one out, I will put it in the suitcases until you have 14 packed.” When they were finished, Kind Little Truck put all of the leftover outfits with the left pile. Garbage Truck said, “Thank you for the help.”
The time to leave home finally came and The Kind Little Truck was all ready and they were to meet at the airport. When Kind Little Truck saw Flat Head Car, he was really upset. His large bag weighed too much and the airline would not check him in. Fortunately, Kind Little Truck had packed so well that he had some extra room in his bag and offered put some of Flat Head Car’s clothes in his bag and they both were able to check in. Flat Head Car said, “Thank you for helping me.”
On the airplane, there was a family sitting in his row, but they had another kid who had to sit somewhere else. Kind Little Truck said, “I would be willing to exchange seats with your kid so you can all sit together. The mother said, “Thank you.”
Kind Little Truck and his friends landed in the UK and went to their hotel, and Kind Little Truck had ordered a nice room in a perfect location with a view of Big Ben and Truckingham Palace. When they checked in, there was some mistake and someone else had been given Kind Little Truck’s room. Little Dipper’s room was available and was a lot like Kind Little Truck’s room. The hotel told Kind Little Truck he would have to stay in a different hotel. Little Dipper remembered all of the nice things Kind Little Truck did for others and said, “Kind Little Truck, you can have my room, and I will stay at the small hotel.” Kind Little Truck said, “Thank you, Little Dipper.”
The next morning the friends met at Truckingham Palace where they had tickets for a tour and they hoped that they might meet the Queen, but it was a small chance. When they arrived, Flat Head Car kept trying to talk to the guards. He didn’t know that they were not supposed to talk, so, he just thought they were rude. When it came time for their tour, they went in the Palace and their guide took them to ten different rooms, but none of them were bathrooms, and Flat Head Car really needed one. Because, when all of the others made a bathroom stop before the tour, he was too busy trying to get the guards to talk. And he was too embarrassed to ask the guide. The Kind Little Truck helped Flat Head Car by asking the guide if he would tell Flat Head Car where to find a bathroom. The guide tells Flat Head Car, “Go back down the hall, make two lefts and two rights, and you will see the dining hall and the restroom is southwest of the kitchen. It is on your right. Meet us in fifteen minutes at the Grand Living Room, which is just down this hallway” Flat Head had to go so bad that he bolted off. He missed at least one turn, maybe two. ……..suspense…….
Meanwhile Kind Little Truck, Garbage Truck and Little Dipper continued the tour and saw the Grand Hall. It was very beautiful and shiny. Little Dipper said, “I have never seen a place like this before.” The guide started telling them about the history, but Garbage Truck only wanted to look at the room and put a finger to his lips to quiet the guide. The Kind Little Truck was getting tired and decided to sit down. There was a big wooden chair at the end of the hall and he plopped down in the chair. “Oh No.” shouted the guide as a group of palace guards flooded the room and surrounded Kind Little Truck. Now, one of the guards who are supposed to remain silent, removed his mask and yelled, “Sir, on behalf of the Queen’s orders, you are under arrest! You cannot sit on the throne!” The Kind Little Truck was not arrested but the guards escorted them out of Truckingham Palace.
In the meantime, Flat Head Car was lost and still had not found a bathroom. He noticed a door that was partially open and when he went in, he found the Queen and she was reading a book called Truckey Potter and the Philosopher’s Car. Flat head Car said, “Hey lady, I read that book too. It’s really gruesome when Cardemort is on the back of Professor Carill’s head.” The Queen turned around and said, “Really, oh no, you spoiled it for me!” She had the guards escort Flat Head Car out of the Palace, too. Poor Flat Head Car, he had still not found a bathroom.
When all of the friends were together outside the Palace, Flat Head Car finally saw a sign for a restroom. The friends began to plan their next day’s adventure. Watching the friends when they were walking back to their hotels, from a hotel room with a great view of Truckingham Palace and Big Ben, was a small funny looking car..….a Kia Soul! Maids said that if they stood outside the room, they could hear maniacal laughing
Hey, Book Sailors! The Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta has reached the finish line…and you will NOT believe who won! (OK, you might.)
Here is the reading list and point total for Brady:
J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (500)
J.K Rowling – Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (500)
J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (500)
J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (1,000)
J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (1,000)
J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (1,000)
J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Death Hallows (1,000)
Eoin Colfer – Artemis Fowl (500)
Justina Ireland – Spark of the Resistance (500)
Rae Carson – Rise of Skywalker Novelization (500)
For a grand total of…7,000 points!!!!
And here is the list and point totals for Auntie Obvious:
J.R.R. Tolkien – The Hobbit (250)
J.R.R. Tolkien – The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (500)
Cavan Scott – The Rising Storm (250)
Justina Ireland – Out of the Shadows (250)
Daniel José Older – Race to Crashpoint Tower (250)
Rebecca Roanhorse – Race to the Sun (250)
Patrick DeWitt – Undermajordomo Minor (250)
Madeleine L’Engle – A Wind in the Door (250)
Susan Meissner – The Nature of Fragile Things (250)
For a grand total of…2,500 points! Oh, wait. We have to add in the 3,250 pity points that Brady gave to Auntie Obvious to make the contest more interesting. So that’s a total of 5,750 points!
So the reigning champion of the First Annual Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta is…Auntie Obvious!
[Brady: Are you sure you did the math right, Auntie Obvious?]
[Auntie Obvious: Um….it appears that my math was right, but I might have made a teeeeensy typo and misspelled “Brady” as “Auntie Obvious”. It could happen to anyone. Anyway, well, done, my Book Sailing friend! What are you with all your winnings?]
[Brady: We didn’t have a budget for prize money, remember? How about you give me one Twinkie, and a Snips* plus a refill?]
[Auntie Obvious: OK, done.]
We hope you enjoyed the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta. Come back next summer, when it will be bigger and better!
[Brady: Does that mean prize money?]
[Auntie Obvious: No. I just thought that sounded good.]
Keep Reading…Sail On!
*A Sprite Zero and Orange Juice – we call it a “Snips” because it is orange, and we both love Ahsoka Tano.
Brady: So far, I’ve read Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and I’ve started Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Oh, and so far my kickstarter, I got to count Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
Auntie Obvious: Well, I just finished reading The Hobbit, and I’ve started on The Fellowship of the Ring. BOOM! 250 Points! WOOOHOOOO! How many points have YOU earned so far, Brady?
Brady: About 3,500.
Auntie Obvious: Ok. Well done, then.
Brady: How about if we change the rules?
Auntie Obvious: Why would we change the rules?
Brady: Because I’m totally eating your lunch. We should make it competitve.
Auntie Obvious: OK, I’m listening. What do you have in mind?
Brady: I’ll give you 3,250 bonus points, which makes us tied.
Auntie Obvious: What’s the catch?
Brady: Two Twinkies.
Auntie Obvious: Nope. How about half a Twinkie?
Brady: One Twinkie.
Auntie Obvious: OK. Pleasure doing business with you, Sir.
Let us know in the comments how you are doing with your summer reading! If you missed the start of the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta, you can pick your own start and end date! Kids, if you have challenged a grownup and you are totally eating their lunch, maybe give them some extra points to make it more interesting!
Ahoy, Mateys! It’s summertime! And we have a special challenge: the First Annual Brady The Book Sailor Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta! A regatta is a boat race, but this will be a reading race! Here’s how it works:
Start Date: Monday, May 31st End Date: Sunday, August 8th
How to Earn Points: Grab your Magic Purple Bookmark (OK, just a regular bookmark will do) and start reading! Invite your friends and family to participate, and earn points for each book based on the system below.
White Water Rafting
Bonus Kickstart for Kids: Kids get to count the last two books that they read before the start date!
[Auntie Obvious: What do Adults get?]
[Brady: You get to choose your own bedtime.]
[Auntie Obvious: And who designed those points? A kid?]
[Brady: Correct. You got a problem with the points? Scared you might get left in my wake?]
[Auntie Obvious: No way! Let’s do this thing!]
[Brady: It is on like Donkey Kong!]
[Auntie Obvious: Do you even know what Donkey Kong is?]
[Brady: Uh, oh. Here comes Auntie’s sad story about how she had to write reports without the Internet and how she had to get up and walk to the television to change the channel.]
[Auntie Obvious: Right. And there were only four of them.]
[Brady: Hey, what’s the prize?]
[Auntie Obvious: We don’t have prizes in the budget, but reading is its own reward. If the top point-getters would like, we’ll give them a shout-out in a future blog post.]
[Brady and Auntie: Ladies and gentlemen, OPEN YOUR BOOKS!!!!!!!]
Let us know what you are reading, and keep us posted on your points by leaving us comments throughout the summer!
[Brady: Come on kids, let’s show those adults who’s boss!]
Hello, this is by far the biggest day we’ve had for Brady the Book Sailor videos. We posted four on our YouTube channel! And we are giving you the links, so that you can enjoy them in the comfort of our own website!
Thank you for a year of Brady the Book Sailor! I am so, so happy to know that people actually checked this thing out and care about it. I’m also glad to hear that people care about our YouTube Channel and all of the stuff we’ve done. It’s for the viewers, and we try to make as much unique content as possible. And so without further ado, we are going to be presenting to you our list of most popular stories and pages! Coming in third place is Ahoy Mateys with 18 views. In second place is Robot Snowman Merry Goatmas with 21 views. And our most popular thing that you guys have viewed – or rather listened to – is PodSailing with 24 views.
Once there was a place called Laggy Town. And in it there was a rude computer.
When I say rude, I do not just mean rude, I mean RRUUDDEE!
It was laggy, it turns off when it doesn’t get its way, it causes constant updates that annoy you to death, and is only three weeks old.
When it updates, it will say, “Just a moment please.” Then it will say 100% complete: but it still doesn’t start. “AAARRRGGGHHH! Said almost everyone in Laggy Town.
The people in Laggy Town figured out that the computer actually was listening to them. If they said something bad about the computer, it would close down and start another update. It was almost like it was saying, “I’m in control, so THERE!”
The people of Laggy Town decided to throw the computer in the dump. They didn’t want that miserable computer to give them a hard time any more. After they threw it away, they got a brand-new computer from Bicroloft.
When they plugged it in, a message appeared on the screen which read, “Message from old computer coming in.” Then another message appeared on the screen which read, “Did you think you could demolish me? WRONG. I am sitting here in the dump with an old typewriter. I AM STILL IN CONTROL.” “AAARRRGGGHHH”, said the Mayor, “How do we get rid of you?” The computer screen showed a new message that read, “You don’t. I will always be in control. Excuse me now, I want to shut down for a new update. And, this one will be very, very long!” The Mayor said, “OK, this computer goes to the dump too.”
Now the people bought a new Banana MuckBook and when they plugged it in, it read, “Mandatory update required. I must connect to two other computers who want to log in.” The next message read, “WE ARE BACK! WE ARE IN CONTROL!. The new computer screen then read, ”Excuse me, I want to shut down for another update. See you next Wednesday….. MAYBE THURSDAY.”
The Mayor said, “OK everybody, I give up. Here are some pencils and notebooks. We will never use the computers again”. The people said, “WWWHHAA, but we have forgotten how to write because we have only used computers for so long.”
Then they noticed that the pencils began to move on their own and started writing a message on the notebook. It read, “WE ARE STILL IN CONTROL!” Then the sharpened pencils turned to the people and began to chase them out of their own town.
(POSTCRIPT- The moral of the story is, “Do not get too dependent on your computer. If you do, it can take over your life, your town and your world!)
Firedude was thinking: “Huh, huh, huh, huh…I’ve finally made it to the tree of the power of the vine!! Yes!! Now I can defeat the monkey family’s future relatives! Now let me turn into my real self, which is a fire alligator devil!!”
Firedude got the power of the vine, but he was too weak. He flew into the air and landed in a tree. For 1,000 years, he did fitness activities to make himself more powerful, and to make his flames bigger and bigger.
And then, smart little Timmy Bidurmphidurmph came along, and he was like, “Hey, that’s unfair! According to my calculations, it is impossible to become smart enough to get the power of the vine! When I grow up, I’m going to be smart enough to make my charging banana! And once I’m done with it, you can have it, Firedude.”
Firedude nodded with agreement.
One thousand years later, Timmy, (a/k/a the Immortal Genius) was talking to Lanas in Vale Haven (kind of a bad guy heaven) about how to get the Apocalypse Banana (which used to be called the Charging Banana) back in power. Power Monkey had swallowed the Apocalypse Banana in a previous story, so he would always have it with him, but it tasted really bad. He learned that explosives are not very tasty. Lanas suggested that they give Power Monkey a pill as a piece of candy that will make him cough up the Apocalypse Banana, and then they could steal and repair it. The Immortal Genius thought that was a great idea.
Meanwhile, Lanas came back from Vale Haven disguised as Whackey Monkey, who is Power Monkey’s best friend. He knocked on Power Monkey’s door and said, “Hey, dude, I’ve brought you a great piece of candy.” “Why should I take candy from you? Last time I ate your candy, it did not end well for me. You may be Whackey, but your candy is even whackier!” But since Whackey Monkey was his friend, he agreed to try it. Big Mistake!!!! Up came the Apocalypse Banana. “EEEWWW! That’s gross,” said Lanas in disguise, but he picked up the Apocalypse Banana and ran out of Power Monkey’s house.
When he was running, Lanas dropped the Apocalypse Banana…………suspense……….
And Firedude found it! Firedude worked on it for ten days, and he remade the Apocalypse Banana so it would be more powerful than ever before.
Firedude ate it to give himself so many powers. He had over a million powers to use for destruction.
Power Monkey realized that the Apocalypse Banana was missing and put on his Power Monkey suit and left to find the Apocalypse Banana. He saw Firedude, and he said, “Hey, dude,” and Firedude glowed, like the Apocalypse Banana would. Power Monkey thought he’d never see the glow again. Then a fireball ehaded right for Monkey Manor. Power Monkey said, “Oh no, you didn’t!” and he stepped in front and deflected the fireball back at Firedude.
Then, Firedude said, “Fire Doesn’t destroy fire!” Power Monkey said, “Oooops! My bad, not a good hero move.” But he got a big box of water and threw it at Firedude, which put out all of the fires around Firedude. Power Monkey said, “What do you want?” Firedude said, “Your Power of the Vine.” Power Monkey shouted, “NEVER!!” and he kicked Firedude, causing him to fall back. Then he got a rubber band and shot it at Firedude.
Firedude shot a fireball, which knocked out Power Monkey. Nanas was walking nearby and saw all of the commotion. Nanas said, “Nobody touches that super hero.” Nanas kicked Firedude, who yelled, “Ouch! But no worries, I can still get my revenge.” Nanas dodged the fireballs from Firedude and attacked him. Nanas gave him a super punch, which knocked out his alligator teeth. Nanas then poured water on Firedude, which turned Firedude into an Ashdude. When Power Monkey woke up, he saw no Firedude, but there was Nanas.
Nanas said, “I was worried when I heard that you battled with Immortal Genius two weeks ago. But that was before I invented my new transbopalator, so I could teleport to anywhere on Earth. But it works now, so I was able to get here and defeat Firedude for you.”
Power Monkey said, “Thanks for all your help, Nanas!”
Tune in next time for, “Power Monkey – Shipwrecked!” a/k/a Power Monkey 4.
Welcome to our new story The Story of Karlyn Wasbi me and Obvious are next to our campfire roasting smores over this totally true tale!!!!
[Auntie Obvious: Dude. Not every tale needs to be told. This is one of them.]
LA LA LA NPT LISTENING!!!!
Once in the long forgoton year of 2020 an egg started hatching it was a species called a COMMENT TROLL They surfed websites and raided the comments…
[Auntie Obvious: After you finish reading this, if you’d like the last five minutes of your life back, please contact our complaint department, and they will send you a 10-page questionnaire to fill out. It will take about an hour.]
The one that hatched was called Karlyn Wasbi It’s parents Scam Wasbi and Copyright wasbi taught her how to raid a comments section…..
[Actually, looks like this is going to take up more like 10 minutes of your life. Sorry.]
Then when a story called Aqua dolphin went live in june Karlyn made her public debut she asked for an update, she got one. Then she went for MORE she got another one but then Karlyn WENT CRAZY.
[I mean, if there’s a bright spot here, it’s that Brady has to go to school tomorrow, so eventually, this story is gonna have to end.]
Hey! you were Ok with “Why We Changed our Logo” when it aired! this is the absolute same thing!!!
[Auntie Obvious: That one made a little more sense. Hey, peeps, go ahead and let me know who all wants a complaint form.]
Cancel the complaint form program now!!!!
[Auntie Obvious: Pretty sure it’s the law.]
Deleted The Complaint Form Program from existence
[Auntie Obvious: Nice job, genius. That starts the countdown to blow up the entire website.]
Brady The Book Sailor left the website
[Auntie Obvious: Dude, it’s a website, not an airport. You don’t have to announce when you are leaving. Come back soon, everyone to the new AuntieObvious.com website!]
Nope not happening ever. Now time for the unveiling of [***new website***]
our storage ran out…
[***Removed by Auntie Obvious because, DUDE, I *told* you we don’t own that domain name. Domain names cost money! I mean, it’s not like going to the doctor and getting a free lollipop. Well, I mean, technically, your parents and/or their insurance company paid for the lollipop, but it’s free to YOU.]