Ahoy, Mateys! It’s summertime! And we have a special challenge: the First Annual Brady The Book Sailor Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta! A regatta is a boat race, but this will be a reading race! Here’s how it works:
Start Date: Monday, May 31st End Date: Sunday, August 8th
How to Earn Points: Grab your Magic Purple Bookmark (OK, just a regular bookmark will do) and start reading! Invite your friends and family to participate, and earn points for each book based on the system below.
White Water Rafting
Bonus Kickstart for Kids: Kids get to count the last two books that they read before the start date!
[Auntie Obvious: What do Adults get?]
[Brady: You get to choose your own bedtime.]
[Auntie Obvious: And who designed those points? A kid?]
[Brady: Correct. You got a problem with the points? Scared you might get left in my wake?]
[Auntie Obvious: No way! Let’s do this thing!]
[Brady: It is on like Donkey Kong!]
[Auntie Obvious: Do you even know what Donkey Kong is?]
[Brady: Uh, oh. Here comes Auntie’s sad story about how she had to write reports without the Internet and how she had to get up and walk to the television to change the channel.]
[Auntie Obvious: Right. And there were only four of them.]
[Brady: Hey, what’s the prize?]
[Auntie Obvious: We don’t have prizes in the budget, but reading is its own reward. If the top point-getters would like, we’ll give them a shout-out in a future blog post.]
[Brady and Auntie: Ladies and gentlemen, OPEN YOUR BOOKS!!!!!!!]
Let us know what you are reading, and keep us posted on your points by leaving us comments throughout the summer!
[Brady: Come on kids, let’s show those adults who’s boss!]
Hi, I am Brady the Book Sailor! Don’t get us wrong, Book Sailors do not use boats! Although my friend GrapeBeard the Friendly Pirate has a bathtub ship. (But you’ll have to read the original Brady the Book Sailor story to find out about that.) I’m a really good reader, and I write my own stories! You might call people like this Book Eaters, but if you want to find about real Book Eaters, talk to my friends the Storyvores. You’ll have to read Brady the Book Sailor Meets the Storyvores to meet them! My Auntie used to write the Brady the Book Sailor stories, but now we share the series. But my name is going first.
(Auntie) Dude, whose computer is this website on?
(Brady) Duh, everyone’s.
(Auntie) No, I mean right now as we are typing this.
(Brady) Well, I’m dictating it, and you also get different perks other than that.
(Auntie) Oh, really? Like what perks?
(Brady) Like working with me and taking out the garbage. And also, getting to watch The Mandalorian with me and Minecraft Story Mode.
(Auntie) I was thinking more like that the perk would be free coffee, but I guess that sounds good too. Except for the taking out the garbage part.
(Brady) Aaaaaanywayyyyy…some of my favorite authors are Dav Pilkey, Aaron Blabey, Stephen Pastis, Tom Angleberger, and J.K. Rowling. You’re wondering, “How do you sail with books?” But that is why we are here. We use items called Magic Purple Library Cards. You can also get them in gold, but you have to do something special to get that version.
Brady: So far, I’ve read Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and I’ve started Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Oh, and so far my kickstarter, I got to count Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
Auntie Obvious: Well, I just finished reading The Hobbit, and I’ve started on The Fellowship of the Ring. BOOM! 250 Points! WOOOHOOOO! How many points have YOU earned so far, Brady?
Brady: About 3,500.
Auntie Obvious: Ok. Well done, then.
Brady: How about if we change the rules?
Auntie Obvious: Why would we change the rules?
Brady: Because I’m totally eating your lunch. We should make it competitve.
Auntie Obvious: OK, I’m listening. What do you have in mind?
Brady: I’ll give you 3,250 bonus points, which makes us tied.
Auntie Obvious: What’s the catch?
Brady: Two Twinkies.
Auntie Obvious: Nope. How about half a Twinkie?
Brady: One Twinkie.
Auntie Obvious: OK. Pleasure doing business with you, Sir.
Let us know in the comments how you are doing with your summer reading! If you missed the start of the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta, you can pick your own start and end date! Kids, if you have challenged a grownup and you are totally eating their lunch, maybe give them some extra points to make it more interesting!
Hello, this is by far the biggest day we’ve had for Brady the Book Sailor videos. We posted four on our YouTube channel! And we are giving you the links, so that you can enjoy them in the comfort of our own website!
Thank you for a year of Brady the Book Sailor! I am so, so happy to know that people actually checked this thing out and care about it. I’m also glad to hear that people care about our YouTube Channel and all of the stuff we’ve done. It’s for the viewers, and we try to make as much unique content as possible. And so without further ado, we are going to be presenting to you our list of most popular stories and pages! Coming in third place is Ahoy Mateys with 18 views. In second place is Robot Snowman Merry Goatmas with 21 views. And our most popular thing that you guys have viewed – or rather listened to – is PodSailing with 24 views.
Once there was a place called Laggy Town. And in it there was a rude computer.
When I say rude, I do not just mean rude, I mean RRUUDDEE!
It was laggy, it turns off when it doesn’t get its way, it causes constant updates that annoy you to death, and is only three weeks old.
When it updates, it will say, “Just a moment please.” Then it will say 100% complete: but it still doesn’t start. “AAARRRGGGHHH! Said almost everyone in Laggy Town.
The people in Laggy Town figured out that the computer actually was listening to them. If they said something bad about the computer, it would close down and start another update. It was almost like it was saying, “I’m in control, so THERE!”
The people of Laggy Town decided to throw the computer in the dump. They didn’t want that miserable computer to give them a hard time any more. After they threw it away, they got a brand-new computer from Bicroloft.
When they plugged it in, a message appeared on the screen which read, “Message from old computer coming in.” Then another message appeared on the screen which read, “Did you think you could demolish me? WRONG. I am sitting here in the dump with an old typewriter. I AM STILL IN CONTROL.” “AAARRRGGGHHH”, said the Mayor, “How do we get rid of you?” The computer screen showed a new message that read, “You don’t. I will always be in control. Excuse me now, I want to shut down for a new update. And, this one will be very, very long!” The Mayor said, “OK, this computer goes to the dump too.”
Now the people bought a new Banana MuckBook and when they plugged it in, it read, “Mandatory update required. I must connect to two other computers who want to log in.” The next message read, “WE ARE BACK! WE ARE IN CONTROL!. The new computer screen then read, ”Excuse me, I want to shut down for another update. See you next Wednesday….. MAYBE THURSDAY.”
The Mayor said, “OK everybody, I give up. Here are some pencils and notebooks. We will never use the computers again”. The people said, “WWWHHAA, but we have forgotten how to write because we have only used computers for so long.”
Then they noticed that the pencils began to move on their own and started writing a message on the notebook. It read, “WE ARE STILL IN CONTROL!” Then the sharpened pencils turned to the people and began to chase them out of their own town.
(POSTCRIPT- The moral of the story is, “Do not get too dependent on your computer. If you do, it can take over your life, your town and your world!)
Firedude was thinking: “Huh, huh, huh, huh…I’ve finally made it to the tree of the power of the vine!! Yes!! Now I can defeat the monkey family’s future relatives! Now let me turn into my real self, which is a fire alligator devil!!”
Firedude got the power of the vine, but he was too weak. He flew into the air and landed in a tree. For 1,000 years, he did fitness activities to make himself more powerful, and to make his flames bigger and bigger.
And then, smart little Timmy Bidurmphidurmph came along, and he was like, “Hey, that’s unfair! According to my calculations, it is impossible to become smart enough to get the power of the vine! When I grow up, I’m going to be smart enough to make my charging banana! And once I’m done with it, you can have it, Firedude.”
Firedude nodded with agreement.
One thousand years later, Timmy, (a/k/a the Immortal Genius) was talking to Lanas in Vale Haven (kind of a bad guy heaven) about how to get the Apocalypse Banana (which used to be called the Charging Banana) back in power. Power Monkey had swallowed the Apocalypse Banana in a previous story, so he would always have it with him, but it tasted really bad. He learned that explosives are not very tasty. Lanas suggested that they give Power Monkey a pill as a piece of candy that will make him cough up the Apocalypse Banana, and then they could steal and repair it. The Immortal Genius thought that was a great idea.
Meanwhile, Lanas came back from Vale Haven disguised as Whackey Monkey, who is Power Monkey’s best friend. He knocked on Power Monkey’s door and said, “Hey, dude, I’ve brought you a great piece of candy.” “Why should I take candy from you? Last time I ate your candy, it did not end well for me. You may be Whackey, but your candy is even whackier!” But since Whackey Monkey was his friend, he agreed to try it. Big Mistake!!!! Up came the Apocalypse Banana. “EEEWWW! That’s gross,” said Lanas in disguise, but he picked up the Apocalypse Banana and ran out of Power Monkey’s house.
When he was running, Lanas dropped the Apocalypse Banana…………suspense……….
And Firedude found it! Firedude worked on it for ten days, and he remade the Apocalypse Banana so it would be more powerful than ever before.
Firedude ate it to give himself so many powers. He had over a million powers to use for destruction.
Power Monkey realized that the Apocalypse Banana was missing and put on his Power Monkey suit and left to find the Apocalypse Banana. He saw Firedude, and he said, “Hey, dude,” and Firedude glowed, like the Apocalypse Banana would. Power Monkey thought he’d never see the glow again. Then a fireball ehaded right for Monkey Manor. Power Monkey said, “Oh no, you didn’t!” and he stepped in front and deflected the fireball back at Firedude.
Then, Firedude said, “Fire Doesn’t destroy fire!” Power Monkey said, “Oooops! My bad, not a good hero move.” But he got a big box of water and threw it at Firedude, which put out all of the fires around Firedude. Power Monkey said, “What do you want?” Firedude said, “Your Power of the Vine.” Power Monkey shouted, “NEVER!!” and he kicked Firedude, causing him to fall back. Then he got a rubber band and shot it at Firedude.
Firedude shot a fireball, which knocked out Power Monkey. Nanas was walking nearby and saw all of the commotion. Nanas said, “Nobody touches that super hero.” Nanas kicked Firedude, who yelled, “Ouch! But no worries, I can still get my revenge.” Nanas dodged the fireballs from Firedude and attacked him. Nanas gave him a super punch, which knocked out his alligator teeth. Nanas then poured water on Firedude, which turned Firedude into an Ashdude. When Power Monkey woke up, he saw no Firedude, but there was Nanas.
Nanas said, “I was worried when I heard that you battled with Immortal Genius two weeks ago. But that was before I invented my new transbopalator, so I could teleport to anywhere on Earth. But it works now, so I was able to get here and defeat Firedude for you.”
Power Monkey said, “Thanks for all your help, Nanas!”
Tune in next time for, “Power Monkey – Shipwrecked!” a/k/a Power Monkey 4.
Welcome to our new story The Story of Karlyn Wasbi me and Obvious are next to our campfire roasting smores over this totally true tale!!!!
[Auntie Obvious: Dude. Not every tale needs to be told. This is one of them.]
LA LA LA NPT LISTENING!!!!
Once in the long forgoton year of 2020 an egg started hatching it was a species called a COMMENT TROLL They surfed websites and raided the comments…
[Auntie Obvious: After you finish reading this, if you’d like the last five minutes of your life back, please contact our complaint department, and they will send you a 10-page questionnaire to fill out. It will take about an hour.]
The one that hatched was called Karlyn Wasbi It’s parents Scam Wasbi and Copyright wasbi taught her how to raid a comments section…..
[Actually, looks like this is going to take up more like 10 minutes of your life. Sorry.]
Then when a story called Aqua dolphin went live in june Karlyn made her public debut she asked for an update, she got one. Then she went for MORE she got another one but then Karlyn WENT CRAZY.
[I mean, if there’s a bright spot here, it’s that Brady has to go to school tomorrow, so eventually, this story is gonna have to end.]
Hey! you were Ok with “Why We Changed our Logo” when it aired! this is the absolute same thing!!!
[Auntie Obvious: That one made a little more sense. Hey, peeps, go ahead and let me know who all wants a complaint form.]
Cancel the complaint form program now!!!!
[Auntie Obvious: Pretty sure it’s the law.]
Deleted The Complaint Form Program from existence
[Auntie Obvious: Nice job, genius. That starts the countdown to blow up the entire website.]
Brady The Book Sailor left the website
[Auntie Obvious: Dude, it’s a website, not an airport. You don’t have to announce when you are leaving. Come back soon, everyone to the new AuntieObvious.com website!]
Nope not happening ever. Now time for the unveiling of [***new website***]
our storage ran out…
[***Removed by Auntie Obvious because, DUDE, I *told* you we don’t own that domain name. Domain names cost money! I mean, it’s not like going to the doctor and getting a free lollipop. Well, I mean, technically, your parents and/or their insurance company paid for the lollipop, but it’s free to YOU.]
In the third episode of our podcast (check out all the episodes of PodSailing here), we mentioned that Tom Angleberger’s short story, “Whills” – from “Star Wars: A Certain Point of View” – had inspired us to write our own version. Enjoy our “Mandalorian Whills” below – which we wrote after the conclusion of Season 1. If you haven’t already watched Season 1 of the Mandalorian:
There are Season 1 Spoilers below.
Oh, and check out the new “Empire Strikes Back: A Certain Point of View”, which is awesome!
Brady Whill: The Empire has fallen. But the fledgling New Republic still struggles to restore order in the planets of the Outer Rim.
Auntie Whill: WOOHOOOO! We’re going to get to see Luke and Leia and Han and Chewie and R2-D2 and C-3PO! This is going to be awesome!!!!!!!!
BW: I’m sorry, but this story is about Mando, a Mandalorian. But you miiiiiiight see a character who reminds you of someone in the originals at the end of Chapter 1.
AW: Oooh! Wedge? An Ewok? Lando?
BW: I hate to break it to you, but this character was also in the prequels too.
AW: If it’s Jar-Jar Binks, I’m going to give up watching TV and spend my extra free time working as a bartender in the Mos Eisley cantina.
BW: They don’t hire humans anymore.
AW: WHAT??? That’s just crazy talk!
BW: Head there yourself.
AW: OK, Fine. Finish your little story. But I’m not going to like it.
BW: Crime syndicates abound, along with remnants of Imperial forces. On a lawless planet, Greef Carga runs The Guild, a coalition of Bounty Hunters.
AW: Greef Carga? Does he know SpongeBob Squarepants?
BW: Ugh. You are in a complete different world than me.
AW: Thanks, Captain Obvious.
BW: A lone Bounty Hunter, known in name only by his association with The Mandalorians returns to The Guild with a ship full of captured fugitives and in search of a new bounty…
AW: Oh, you mean Din Djarin?
BW: Ugh, you just spoiled all of Episode 8. Speaking of that, how did you know? I thought you didn’t watch The Mandalorian Episodes.
AW: Well, I didn’t think I wasn’t going to like it, but then HOLY COW, BABY YODA IS SOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BW: I’m going to have to write you up for two spoiler violations. If you get a third, you get demoted to Whill bathroom cleaner.
AW: OK, fine, I’m just gonna go read up on the history of the Dark Saber, for no particular reason and which has totally nothing at all to do with The Mandalorian.
BW: Third spoiler! You know what that means!
AW: Awwwwwwww, man. Intern Whill had beans for dinner…