The things to come are very great…
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Hey Book Sailors, Auntie Obvious here. Brady has been busy, busy, busy so far this this summer, but he asked me to post this story for him. Actually, his exact words were, “Post the story and give it the full social media treatment!” Who am I to contradict the boss man? So…here you go. Enjoy!
It was a dark and stormy night! A figure being chased by the police dashed through the unforgiving Paris dusk. A cop said, “He vent zat vay!” The figure ran, ran, and ran for what seemed like hours before he reached his destination, the Eiffel Tower. He attached rocket boosters to the four legs of the tower and produced a red button from his pocket. He looked at it momentarily, and then without hesitation, PRESSED IT! The engines on the tower ignited, propelling itself into the air. The man thought, “The plan is going perfectly.” But before he could navigate the tower to the field he had selected, the police showed up. “Put your hands in zee air!”, one of them said. The figure put up one of his hands and revealed what he was holding in the other!…………surprise………..A lethal fresh baked Baguette!
“Fear me” the figure said, “For I am zee baguette man!” He hit one of the police officers with his vicious, but delicious, weapon, but then he realized it was a dark and stormy night so his baguette was soaked and softened by the rain. Baguette Man said, “Even zo I may be facing arrest, at least I have stolen the Eiffel Tower.” At that point, the Eifel tower fell out of the sky, right back where it had originally been.
“AAARRRGGGUUUHHH!!” said the figure.
Ten years later
Badger Lee, AKA Mr. Anti-hero, was walking to work. He did not have a normal job like the average person; he was a super villain and member of the wannabe villain group, The Villain People Club. He knocked on the door of VPC HQ. His best friend Cat Thing let him in. Cat Thing is a human and animal hybrid known as a Manimal. Badger walked inside the tall and familiar building and set down his stuff. Cat Thing said, “So, do you remember that Paris trip we were talking about a few months ago?” Badger relied, “Sure. I thought we concluded that it was impossible to steal the Eiffel Tower and rooms were too expensive.” “Well”, said Cat Thing, “We have solved both of those problems.” Cat Thing took out his computer and showed Mr. Anti-hero the video of the figure’s attempt to steal the Eiffel Tower ten years earlier. Cat Thing laughed when the figure said he was Baguette man and hit the officer with a soggy loaf of bread. Cat Thing continued, “I think we could use telekinesis instead of rockets because that would not short-circuit.” Badger said, “But the only telekinetic we know is…..” Before he can finish, Hero Boy steps out from behind Cat Thing and says, “Me!”
Mr, Anti-hero said, “Are you crazy, Cat Thing? Cat Thing said, “Does anyone ever say yes to that question?” Mr. Anti-hero continued, “That guy kidnapped me for a ransom.” Hero Boy said, “And then you Rick Rolled me, so I think we are even.” “How could that possibly make us even?”, said Badger. “Relax, Badger.”, said Cat Thing. “We just need Hero Boy to pull the Tower loose from the ground and then Scowl will grab it and teleport it to that nice park in Ambrosia.” Badger said, “So we are going to steal it from Paris and teleport it to Montana? I like it!” Cat thing asked, “Scowl, have you teleported anything that far?” Scowl said, “Well, I teleported a snow globe I stole in China to Djibouti by accident.” “That’s all I need to hear! Our flight’s leaving’ in an hour.”, said Cat Thing. The VPC and Hero Boy loaded themselves into Scowl’s Porsche and took off. “Uh Cat Thing?”, said Badger, “I don’t have a suitcase.” Cat Thing said, “OK I’m sure the clothes at the giftshops won’t be too pricey.” After about twenty minutes they arrived. They went up to security, but right before Scowl went through, Hero Boy slipped a chunk of metal into Scowl’s back pocket and as the TSA agents carried him away he shouted, “REMEMBER ME !!!”
The rest of them went through security without being buzzed and made their way to the plane. As they boarded, the pilot came on the intercom and said, “Hero Boy, you have done great services to our country so we are giving you a free upgrade to First Class. “Enjoy economy class Villain People.”, said Hero Boy as a flight attendant handed him a complimentary apple cider. Ninja Girl rushed onto the plane and said, “Sorry I am late, but I just made it.” Badger and the others trudged to their seats in the very back. Badger was put next to a family with a crying child and despite all means of trying by the anxious parents, the baby would not stop crying. Badger suffered through eleven hours without sleep. As the flight ended, he noticed Hero Boy asleep in a seat that reclined into a bed, with a partially eaten prime rib and desert in front of him. Badger aggressively shook Hero Boy awake, and Hero boy said as he stretched and let out a big yawn, “Are we there already?” Badger let out an “AAARRRGGGUUUHHH” and said, “I bet the time went fast for you.”
They went out of the airport and took and Uber to their Hotel. They went to the front desk to register and claim their key, but there was a problem. “I am zorry” said the clerk as he looked at Cat thing, ”but vees is not a pet friendly hotel.” Two security guards shoved Cat Thing into a crate and took him away. “Continue with the missionnnnnn!”, Cat thing shouted.
“That’s strange”, said Ninja Girl. “I wonder who booked this hotel?” At that time the members of the VPC hear the clerk say, “Velcome Hero Boy, ve are proud to have you stay with us, and we are upgrading your room to a penthouse suite. Badger could be heard saying, “AAARRRGGGUUUHHH !!”
They all met later in Hero Boy’s suite. Badger was simmering as he looked around the 1,300 square foot penthouse suite and saw the bed did not have any cigarette burns like the one in his tiny room, and there were complimentary snacks and drinks on a table while Badger had paid $11.00 for a small cookie from the mini-bar. He almost could not stand it, but they had a job to do.
Badger, said, “In Cat Thing’s absence, I am assuming leadership of the team.” Ninja girl said, “OK.” Badger said, “I call our new plan, Operation Slingshot. Hero Boy is going to pick up the Eiffel Tower with all of his telekinesis and his strength and throw it toward the United States. Now, this plan involves hope. Hope that Hero Boy does not have really bad aim and that the Eiffel Tower actually lands in Montana. I do not want to fish it out of the Atlantic Ocean or one of the Great Lakes! Ninja Girl and I will get the crowds away from the Eiffel Tower so no one gets hurt and no one sees what is happening until it is too late. We don’t need the police or the army finding out about this before we are done. When they were walking out of the suite, Hero Boy caught his cape on the door and ripped it. Badger said to Hero Boy, “ I left my hat on the table, can you retrieve it for me. Hero boy tried but his telekinesis would not work. After a few moments, Hero Boy went over to the table and grabbed the hat. Hero Boy asked Ninja Girl, “Can you by any chance sew?” The two went into the suite’s grand master bedroom and closed the door. Ninja Girl stitched up the cape and Hero Boy hurried out first and locked it with his telekinesis, leaving Ninja Girl inside.
Hero Boy said to Badger, who was waiting outside the suite, “Ninja Girl isn’t feeling well and will not be joining us.” The two left the hotel. They hopped on one of the rentable Vespas, and headed for the Eiffel Tower. As they neared the Tower, they saw someone they recognized on the corner. It was………….suspense……………..
The Baguette Man !
“This is perfect.”, said Badger. We have someone with experience stealing the Tower who might be of some help.” They went to the Baguette man and Badger said, “We need your help stealing the Eiffel tower!” “I almost stole the Tower once, but it is a sad, sad story.”, said Baguette Man.
“We watched it on YouTube.” Said Hero Boy. “So, will you join us?” said Badger. “Yes, my Baguette will be in your service.”, said Baguette Man. “Good. Also, do you happen to have a boom box”, asked Badger. “That is another yes.” , said Baugette Man. “Badger said, “Good. Bring it with you.”
The three stood in front of the Eiffel Tower. Hero boy said, “Badger I need you to stand under the Eiffel Tower as a reference. Baguette Man, you need to cause an evacuation. Just yell, “BEES” real loud and every one will run like crazy.” Baguette Man waived around his baguette of doom and yelled “BEEZ, ve are in imminent danger!”, over and over, and everyone ran away. But instead of sending the Tower up, Hero Boy started driving it into the ground, with Badger still under it. Badger felt all alone! Then Badger realized Hero Boy must have framed Scowl, booked the non-pet friendly hotel which got rid of Cat Thing, and somehow kidnapped Ninja Girl. Then Badger remembered that Hero Boy could not move the hat when his cape torn, but it worked again after it was resown. There must be some sort of sophisticated technology in the cape., so Hero boy does not really have telekinesis without the cape. At first the Tower seemed it might crush Badger, but then Baguette Man and every one else were shocked to see Badger pushing the Tower back up with all of his strength. He was not alone! Badger yelled with a strained voice, “Baguette Man, go for the cape and tear it off. It is the Key to his power. Hero Boy is a fraud. “
On Badger’s command, Baguette Man sprang into action and tore off Hero Boy’s cape. The force pushing down on the Tower stopped and Badger was able to replace it in its right position. Badger walked up to Hero Boy, who asked, “Are you going to destroy me?” “No,” said Badger, “But I am gonna destroy your reputation.” He threw a cassette to Baguette Man who had cast aside Hero Boy’s cape, put the tape in the boom box and turned it on..LOUD! Soon everyone in Paris heard the recording on the tape, with Hero Boy saying, “I am sooooo evil. Ha, Ha, Ha.”
The End
Epilogue:
The VPC and Hero Boy headed for the airport to fly back to Ambrosia. They had gotten Cat Thing out of the animal shelter and they went back to the hotel suite and released Ninja Girl. They had received a call from the TSA that they had released Scowl, but that he had a life time ban from flying commercial. As they boarded their plane, Hero Boy started to stop in first class, but the same flight attendant as before said, “Get out of first class, you evil fraud. Go back to the economy section.” Badger said, “Well since there is an empty first class seat, can I take it.” She said, “Sure, have at it. Do you want prime rib or lobster.” “Lobster please, and the name on the order is Anti-hero, Mr. Anti-Hero.” As he reclined in his comfortable seat, with a glass of apple cider, Badger thought , “This is the life.”
From the back of the plane, everyone could hear Hero Boy yell, “AAARRRGGGUUUHHH !” as the family with the small child took their seats beside him.
A Brady M. short story
It was a dark and stormy night! The villain People Club members were waiting outside the bank as they planned their next robbery. “OK, does every one remember the plan”, said Mr. Anti-Hero, AKA Badger Lee. “I am a little bit confused,” said Houdini, AKA Scowl Absalom. “So:”, said Badger, “Ninja Girl and Cat Thing will infiltrate the bank disguised as a stressed out bank employee and her therapy cat.” “I ain’t no ones therapy cat”, said Cat thing. Badger said, “Well you are just going to have to live with it if you want the money in the bank. Now, as I was saying, when me and scowl step outside the bank and wave our arms, that is Cat Things signal to start scratching other bank employees.” “Sorry for being so rude about it, I am starting to like the plan”, said Cat Thing.” “Apology accepted, Cat Thing,” said Badger kindly. He continues, “Scowl teleports me into the vault while the guards rush to help the employees. I crack the safe with my crowbar and we get out of there scot-free before the cops even know we did it.” A few minutes later it was time for Badger and Scowl to make their move. They wave their arms and Cat Thing starts attacking employees. As Badger expected, the guards left their posts to help.
Scowl teleported himself and Badger into the vault but they found that someone was already robbing it! But the thing was not a person, it was a horrid creature that looked half man and half bull, and it was covered in shaggy brown fur. Badger said to the beast, “I am sorry, but we were planning the rob the bank and we had an elaborate plan, so can you please step aside and let us rob?” “AAAARRRRGGGGUUUUHHHH!” , yelled the Minotaur. “This Minotaur’s bank. Me rob it. Scowl said, “Pretty Please, just one vault.” “NNNNOOOO”, said the beast, “Minotaur no share!” Scowl whispered to Badger, “He doesn’t share? What kind of villain is he anyway.” “A weird one”, said Badger. But they had no time to talk because the Minotaur was charging at them. Badger and scowl pulled out their crowbars and prepared for battle. The Minotaur picked up Badger and threw him against the wall, then Badger got up and struck the beast with his crowbar. But the Minotaur was able to pin down Badger who yelled to Scowl, “A little help here?” Scowl smacked the Minotaur with his crowbar knocking him off Badger. Just then they all heard sirens! The cops rushed downstairs to the vault and yelled, “Freeze! Are you two associated with these two?” as the cop points to Ninja girl and Cat Thing. Ninja Girl says, “Scot-free, huh Badger?” “I’ll take that as a YES”, said the cop. “What are you two doing here?” Badger said, “Well me and him were just fighting a Minotaur who happened to be in the vault.” “What Minotaur?” said the cop. “He was right here behind me.”, said Badger, but when he turned around there was nothing there. Badger thought, “At least prison doesn’t have termite infestation like the Villain People club HQ.”
They were all thrown into the prison vehicle and driven to jail. After they arrived, they were put into cells next to each other and each cell had two bunks. Badger and Cat Thing were put in the first cell and Scowl and Ninja Girl were put in the other one. Badger knocked on the wall and realized it was hollow so he could whisper to the two other members of the Villain Peoples Club. Badger whispered to Scowl, “What do you think that thing was that we fought?” Scowl replied, “They are called Manimals and Cat-Thing is one of them. They exist because of some kind of accident where their genes get screwed up. They are still classified as humans, but they look like animals.” Then they heard a loudspeaker announcement: “Badger Geri Lee, please report to the interrogation annex. “Seriously?”, said Cat-Thing, “You went by Geri?” “My Brother Theodore was ‘Theo’, so I needed a nickname too!”, said Badger. The guard went to the cell and unlocked it and grabbed Badger by the shoulder and took him to the annex. He sat down and faced a mustachioed police officer. The officer said, “I am Officer McButt.” Badger interrupts him, and says, “Your name’s seriously McButt? That’s hilarious!”, said Badger “Look who’s talking, Badger.”, said McButt, “Touche.”, said Badger. “I would like to know what you were doing last night.”, Said McButt. “I was robbing a bank!”, said Badger. Thanks for your honesty, Mr. Antihero.”, said McButt and he proceeded to hand Mr. Antihero a Lollipop. “Wow! “Thanks officer!”, said Badger, “I never knew prison gave out Lollipops!” But this was too good to be true because the lollipop was a sedative! Badger passed out and McButt took off a rubber mask revealing himself to really be…suspense… THE MINOTAUR! The minotaur got the police telephone and called a certain number. Heroboy picked up and said, “Did you get Mr. Antihero?” “YES! MINOTAUR GOT ANTIHERO.”, said the Minotaur.
Meanwhile the other members of the Villain People Club were sitting in their cells, feeling worried about Badger. But then they heard another loudspeaker announcement, “All prisoners report to the mess hall.” Cat Thing said, “We can go check on Badger since the interrogation room is on the way.” The doors to their cells opened automatically and they walked to the interrogation room. They cracked open the door and saw the Minotaur talking to Hero Boy and they overheard the conversation. Hero Boy said, “Bring the anti-hero to Hero Boy tower.” The Villain People knew that they had to escape and rescue Badger from Hero Boy’s tower. They proceeded to the mess hall and Ninja Girl said, “How are we supposed to escape, there are guards everywhere?” Then then heard a voice with a British accent say, “Hello chums, you need help breaking out of prison?” They turned around and saw a half man and half shark smiling at them. “The name is Landshark”, said the creature. “All you have to do to escape is yell ’PRISON RIOTTTTT“ and the all of the other prisoners began to yell and the guards left their posts at the door. Our heroes and the Landshark darted out the door to freedom.
They then found a sewer and crawled through it so the guards could not find their trail. Cat Thing said to Landshark, “What landed you in prison?” Landshark said, “Transporting a litter of puppies from Alaska to Arizona.” Cat Thing said, “I am not even going to ask anymore questions.” “If you don’t mind me asking”, said the Land shark, “Where are you guys going.” Scowl said, “Hero Boy Tower.” “I know where that is,” said Landshark. He led them to the next sewer exit and they came out of the humid tunnel. When they arrived at the tower, Hero Boy met them and said, “You are early, I haven’t even finished my ransom note yet. So, anyway, I need that tape where I said that I was evil.” “Oh, I have that”, said a voice from the back room. “OK, let me cut your zip ties so you can hand it over”, said Hero Boy. “Oh, I freed myself five minutes ago”, said Badger as he stepped into the room. He placed the cassette in Hero Boy’s hand. “So, that is it?”, said Ninja Girl. “Yep. Thank you for being cooperative.”, said Hero Boy” After the Villain People left, Hero Grabbed the cassette and put in the player and hit start. Rick Astley’s “Never Going to Give You Up”, begins to play. After the chorus, there is a voice over from Badger saying, “Well, looks like we won!” A very loud “AAARRRGGGUUUAAAHHH! Could heard coming from the tower.
Epilogue: Landshark said, “Cheerrio my friends. I am going to be headed back to Jolly old England.” Cat Thing said, “It’s a shame you’re leaving, because we have one extra plane ticket to France. We’re planning to steal an international tourist attraction.”
Note: Hi Book Sailors! I’m sorry to say, but this is my last story for the summer. If you need to satisfy your thirst to Keep Reading and Sail on, I recommend going to my friend Charlie’s website. It’s called CharlieTheBookWorm. Mr. Anti-Hero and Hero Boy will soon be added to the Meet the Team page as soon as Auntie Obvious gets around to it!
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Mr. Antihero, The First Felony
A Brady M. Short Story
Meet Badger, AKA Mr. Antihero and AKA (self proclaimed) King of Pick-pockets.
It was Badger’s big moment. He was going to jay-walk through an intersection although the light said “DON’T WALK”. He put one foot on the road and then the other, but he noticed that some guy listening to music and not paying attention was blocking him. Badger directed the guy to the crosswalk and, before he could move on, the light turned to “WALK”! AAARRRRGGGGUUUHHH!! “I wanted to jay walk!”
So, he waited until the light said “Don’t Walk” again, and he stepped into the intersection. BAM!!! Badger was hit by a speeding vehicle. “I see why they outlawed jay walking”, said Badger as he flew through the air. He got up and dusted himself off and walked home. He turned on the TV and saw his image. He thought, “They are going to talk about the crime of mine.” But the footnote under his picture said, “Hero leads distracted man to the cross walk.” Badger said, “Oh no, now they think I am a hero.”
He went to take a walk in the park and sat down on a bench. Someone sat next to him and asked, “Are you Adam Steel?” Badger replied, “What?” The stranger said, “Thank you for using the code word, Adam, so I know it must be you. I am very fortunate to see you in your road-kill costume as well.” Badger looked sadly down at his clothes. The stranger said, “The Villain People Club really needs your help. If you want to find out more, head to 999 Evil People Drive.” Badger was excited. He could be part of a bad guy group although he had never heard of the Villain People Club. He knocked on the door at the address, which was a large tower. A man with an Afro and a goatee answered and said, “You must be Mr. Steel; come in.” Badger walked through the door and the man continued, “We are the Villain People Club. I am Scowl Absalom and they call me ‘The Great Houdini’ because I can teleport anywhere, for example……, BEHIND YOU!” He vanished and reappeared behind Badger. Scowl walked back in front of Badger and pointed to a cat on hind legs drinking from a glass of milk. He said, “That is Cat Thing. Nobody knows where he came from, but we know he is part man and part cat.” Cat Thing then said, in a very strong New York accent, “Oh boy, it looks like we have a newby here.” Houdini continued as he pointed to a woman in a black jumpsuit and said, “That is Everest Spades, AKA Ninja Girl. She won Best sword fighter in a competition comprised of the world’s worst sword fighters. We all have a problem. You know Hero Boy, the town’s hero? He has been framing us for crimes lately and there is one source that we know of to prove he has framed us, his journal!” Badger said, “How can we beat hero boy? He can lift anything he wants with his mind.” Scowl said, “We are going to break into his storage unit tonight when he is not around. So, are you in or out?”
“Alright” said Badger, “Let’s do this.”
Night fall came. They arrived at the storage unit. Scowl mimicked the voice of the owner of the storage unit and told employees that everyone could have the rest of the night off. All of them quickly left. Scowl teleported Badger inside and Cat Thing and Ninja Girl watched out for any security guards. Badger looked through the keys and found one marked “Hero Boy’s Unit”. He crept toward the unit and unlocked it. “Scowl, I am in” Badger yelled, “You can teleport to where Cat Thing and Ninja Girl are.” Badger finds the Journal on a shelf and removes it. “OOPS”, thought Badger as he noticed a scale under the spot where the journal had been. Just then he heard rapid beeping and then the storage unit blew up! “AARRGGUUHH” said Badger as he flew through the air. He landed by Scowl, Cat thing and Ninja Girl. Badger dusted himself off and said, “I got the Journal.” Scowl said, “Good job, Adam, but I thought you would get hurt in the explosion. Well, you look OK, so lets see the journal.” Scowl opened up the book and saw that it was completely……..BLANK! A voice in the distance said, “Ha, Ha, Ha!” Scowl, Cat Thing and Ninja Girl all said together, “Hero Boy!” Hero Boy said, “I am sooooo evil. Ha Ha, Ha. I am not so stupid to hide all of my plans in a journal that could be so easily stolen. And I never thought you three would be so stupid as to not get the real Adam Steel.” Cat Thing said, “What?” Ninja Girl said, “We had a perfect code word of WHAT.” “What” said Badger. “Yes, What”, said Ninja Girl. Hero Boy said, “What is a stupid code word.” A stupid code word is a code word that is not smart, said Scowl. “What, What was the code word?” said Badger. At that, Hero Boy said, “ENOUGH. No more about code words!”
You really enlisted Badger Lee, a weak wannabe criminal who calls himself Mr. Antihero AKA the King of Pick Pockets. Hero Boy then picked up Badger with his mind and tossed him into a lake. “NOOOO,” said the three members of the Villain People Club. Badger tried to swim to shore but before he reached it, he passed out. Scowl focused on Badger and was able to teleport him back to the Villain People Club tower. Despite the set back, the three decided to let Badger into their club. “After all”, said Cat Thing, “All of us villains lie to each other and do stupid things, like when I used Scowl’s toothbrush to crush a fly.” “What”, barked Scowl. “Oh no, is that a code word or a question,” asked Ninja Girl. Scowl did not respond.
“But something good did come out of last night,” said Ninja Girl as she pulled out a tape recorder. She played Hero Boy’s voice saying, “Ha,Ha,Ha, I am so evil.” “That’s the evidence we needed”, said Badger. “Maybe we can tell Hero Boy that we will share the tape with the police if he doesn’t stop framing us for crimes we didn’t commit.” The Villain People go to the top of the tower and Badger yells, “Hero Boy, we have something you may want to see.” Hero Boy came over and said, “Did someone call me?” Ninja Girl played the recording of Hero Boy. “If you agree to stop framing us, we will give it to you,” Said Scowl. Hero boy said, “Or maybe I’ll just take for free,” as he threw a metal box at them. Scowl teleported to Hero Boy and kicked him, Cat Thing scratched him, Ninja Girl whacked him with her sword, and Badger punched him, before he could stop them by moving other objects with his mind. “You got me this time, but next time it won’t be so easy”, said Hero Boy as he flew away.
The four members of the Villain People Club still had the recording if they found that Hero boy was framing them in the future. Which they all had a feeling would happen.
THE END
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Relax, Guys!
I have yet to get a letter from Disney containing scripts for the next Mandalorian episodes, but there have been some concerns considering my last post, and I just want to inform you that Brady the Book Sailor is not closing down next year due to money. It’s because I am busy with sports and school, and have recently taken up a lot of new hobbies. I saw one post on my amazing friend Charlie’s website saying that we need support – and we LOVE your support, we just don’t need $$$ support. Although there is one way to get us to continue: 2023 has to be our biggest year ever, and our YouTube Channel has to reach 1,000 subscribers. I know that may sound like a lot, but that’s the point. It can’t be a challenge unless it is challenging! I know this type of content isn’t normal for us, and let me assure you we will be getting back to normal (posting stories and reading challenges) soon. In the next two weeks, my all-new story, Mr. Antihero: The First Felony will be posted!
Hey Book Sailors, I know it’s been a little while since I’ve posted, and I’m not sure if I’ll have time to update frequently like we once did. We pay to keep the site up every two years, and the next time to pay is in 2024. I’m not feeling like having a blog for much longer, so I am sad to announce that 2023 and the beginning of 2024 might be the site’s last years. Don’t worry, because I will still be posting in that period some projects that I have previously announced. This will only including The Monkey Legion, Mr. Antihero, and Mercury, the Last Avatar (title subject to change), as well as two other stories that I am proud to announce, RAYMOND the Time-Travelling Robot and Bluejay the Psychic Archer. Also, a crossover between Bluejay, RAYMOND, Mr. Antihero, and Mercury will be hitting the site later this year.
Of course, I reserve the right to to change my mind if Disney decides they need a sixth grader to review advance copies of all things Star Wars and Marvel. LOL.
Well, be sure to Keep Reading and Sail On, even if I am not on the site to tell you that. A huge thank you to all of our fans in the USA, as well as internationally! If you like our site, feel free to leave a comment!
— Brady the Book Sailor
[Brady]: This winter, we’re giving the gift of reading! With thousands of intricate rules that I’ve specified sitting at my desk at 3:00 a.m..
[Auntie Obvious]: Dude. What have we talked about? KISS. Keep It Simple Sailor.
[Brady]: So we’re not doing point breaks?
[Auntie Obvious]: It’s Christmas. Not the Reading Olympics.
[Brady]: Do you have any ideas about how this Reading Regatta could go?
[Auntie Obvious]: How about we give the gift of reading? You partner up with a reading buddy and you recommend a book for your buddy to read?
[Brady]: That’s cool, but let’s call it Carol of the Books or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reader or something like that.
[Auntie Obvious]: Those are both great, but let’s do Carol of the Books! Everybody try to finish their book by the end of 2022, which is 10 days away.
[Brady]: My book for you that I’ve selected is A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket.
[Auntie Obvious]: Cool! My book for you is Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. It’s a really quick read!
[Brady]: Dude, it’s 451 pages. When we were discussing having another Reading Regatta, you said the limit should be 400 pages. Keep it Simple, Sailor.
[Auntie Obvious]: Fine. My selection is the first 400 pages of Peter and the Starcatchers. If you don’t want to find out how it ends, that’s on you.
[Brady]: If I finish it, can we do weekly updates and point breaks?
[Auntie Obvious]: But it’s only one book and…you know what? Knock yourself out. Sure, if you finish it, we’ll do unlimited hot chocolate and point breaks.
[Brady]: Fine. What if somebody reading this doesn’t have a Book Buddy, though?
[Auntie Obvious]: We’ll be their book buddy! They can choose from one of our selections below! ::whispers:: pick mine, pick mine, pick mine…
| Brady | Auntie Obvious |
| A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning | Peter and the Starcatchers |
| A Christmas Carol | The Hobbit |
| 8-Bit Christmas | Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief |
[Auntie Obvious]: Dude, I’m totally going to read 8-Bit Christmas! That movie was awesome! Except for the puking.
[Brady]: I really liked The Lightning Thief. That was a solid choice!
[Auntie Obvious]: Time to say the thing!
[Brady]: Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Regatta! And also…Keep Reading…Sled on!
[Auntie Obvious]: Dude.
[Auntie Obvious]: Hey, Book Sailors! The Reading Regatta Fall Flight ends today!
[Brady]: Did you finish your four books?
[Auntie Obvious]: Yes! I finished six. Well, allllllmost. How many did you read?
[Brady]: I read six! I read Jurassic Park, and I re-read all five Percy Jackson and the Olympians books. And Kendall (my Kindle) tells me that I’m 54% finished with The Hobbit. What did you read?
[Auntie Obvious]: I read “Rebel Rising”, which is about Jyn Erso, “The Reading List”, which was my book club book, “The Wives of Henry the VIII” which was a history book, plus Rick Riordan’s “Throne of Fire” and also Jurassic Park. Plus, I will finish The Silmarillion TONIGHT if it kills me. (Update 10/31/21 – Auntie Obvious did, in fact, finish The Silmarillion, and luckily, it did NOT kill her.
[Brady]: And how many pages is the Index in The Silmarillion?
[Auntie Obvious]: The Appendix starts on page 379 and goes to page 458 – so 79 pages total. This was a hard book for me, because I have a challenge remembering names and places, and this book is FULL of them. So in this book, they will be all, “This famous elf was named Steve, but the other elves called him Bob, but some other people called him Jim, but then after a rabid bunny gnawed off his big toe, he was thereafter known as Walter.” ::slowly bangs head on desk::
[Brady]: I was struggling with Trials of Apollo, and I just realized today that the Appendix is there for a reason.
[Auntie Obvious]: Dude, I think you will really like the conclusion of that series if you get back into it. So how come we haven’t seen any new stories from you lately?
[Brady]: I have been working on something big in the Power Monkey industry, and I’ve got this project with Dadat, which has a possibility of being published, but I don’t know for sure yet. Under both of our names, as we agreed!
[Auntie Obvious]: That sounds awesome! I can’t wait to hear more! Any final thoughts as we wrap up the Fall Flight?
[Brady]: Okay, never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you…
[Auntie Obvious]: Oh nice (***sarcasm***), a Rickroll. Anything else to say?
[Brady]: Coke is better than Pepsi.
[Auntie Obvious]: Anything else related to reading, since this isn’t a soft drink website?
[Brady]: Keep Reading…Sail On! Stay tuned for our special winter reading challenge!
Categories
Fall Flight Reading Regatta
[Brady]: Wow, our first annual Fall Flight Reading Regatta! It feels like we just ended the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta, and now it’s already September!
[Auntie Obvious]: A “flight” is a sample of four cool things, so with the Fall Flight Reading Regatta, you pick four books of your choice to read between now and October 30th!
[Brady]: Let’s make up some complicated rules!
[Auntie Obvious]: Dude, ever heard the acronym KISS? Keep it Simple, Sailor? But we do need to decide if the book you are currently reading counts as one or if you start with your next book.
[Brady]: You start with the next book.
[Auntie Obvious]: Dude. I’m like 150 pages into Rick Riordan’s the Red Pyramid, and it’s about 550 pages long.
[Brady]: Rules are rules. ::shrugs::
[Auntie Obvious]: OK, fine. Should we show everyone the awesome Fall Flight Reading Regatta trailer that we made?
[Brady]: Lights, camera, action!
[Brady]: So how do you know who wins?
[Auntie Obvious]: Everyone gets participation awards!
[Brady]: What about the weekly updates and point breaks that we did for the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta?
[Auntie Obvious]: Dude. Keep it Simple.
[Brady]: Fine. But you and I are having a contest to compare page totals from our four books.
[Auntie Obvious]: Fine. It. Is. On.
[Brady]: Keep Reading. Sail On. And welcome to the Fall Flight!
Hi, Book Sailors! Today, I have a couple of new announcements for new series! I hope you really like these, and that I’m able to release them all very soon.
The Monkey Legion is the sequel series to the hit Power Monkey novels. It follows Aaron two months after The Elusive Prey, in an all-out war against the Gorilla Clan. I am also here to give you some news about the titles of The Monkey Legion books and a new hero, who will be a main character in The Monkey Legion. Say hello to Shield Maiden. Shield Maiden is the sister of Alex and Nartha, who has to help Aaron in his escapades to defeat a mysterious gorilla named Wade Woodrow Walters and a mysterious other villain along with many surprise characters. The book titles are:
- The Crusader and the Shadow
- Arrows of Vengeance
- Metal Reckoning
- Starfall Battlefield
- Wade’s Fury
Next up, we have an entirely new series starring an entirely new character. May I introduce you to Mercury, The Last Avatar? This story, based on Roman and Egyptian mythology, follows Mercury, the last of the Avatars, who is being hunted down by an evil entity named Pluto. The Mercury books will consist of three books:
- Mercury: The Last Avatar
- Mercury: Journey through the Duat
- Mercury: Flames of Justice
For my next comedy series, we have Mr. Anti-Hero, the villain who does it all wrong. He gets recruited by the Association of Villains to stop a hero who’s been stealing money from all the villains. This is their journey to expose the hero for what he is: a fraud. The Mr. Anti-Hero series will consist of many various books, like the classic series Power Monkey and The Kind Little Truck.
Moving on to the topic of Book Sailor Animations, we get a name change in that department: introducing Sailor Studios. Sailor Studios will broaden the view from paper animation to tech animation, as well as new audio stories, PodSailing season 2, and much, much more.
Our last and biggest announcement is that the Reading Regatta got so much attention this summer that we’re bringing it back with an all-new season and all-new rules. This time, the challenge is to read four books in two months, starting on Labor Day. Stay tuned for more details on the Fall Flight Reading Regatta.
Brady The Book Sailor 