The Rude Computer

A Cooperative Story by Brady and Dadat

Once there was a place called Laggy Town. And in it there was a rude computer.

When I say rude, I do not just mean rude, I mean RRUUDDEE!

It was laggy, it turns off when it doesn’t get its way, it causes constant updates that annoy you to death, and is only three weeks old.

When it updates, it will say, “Just a moment please.” Then it will say 100% complete: but it still doesn’t start. “AAARRRGGGHHH! Said almost everyone in Laggy Town.

The people in Laggy Town figured out that the computer actually was listening to them. If they said something bad about the computer, it would close down and start another update. It was almost like it was saying, “I’m in control, so THERE!”

The people of Laggy Town decided to throw the computer in the dump. They didn’t want that miserable computer to give them a hard time any more. After they threw it away, they got a brand-new computer from Bicroloft.

When they plugged it in, a message appeared on the screen which read, “Message from old computer coming in.” Then another message appeared on the screen which read, “Did you think you could demolish me? WRONG. I am sitting here in the dump with an old typewriter. I AM STILL IN CONTROL.” “AAARRRGGGHHH”, said the Mayor, “How do we get rid of you?” The computer screen showed a new message that read, “You don’t. I will always be in control. Excuse me now, I want to shut down for a new update. And, this one will be very, very long!” The Mayor said, “OK, this computer goes to the dump too.”

Now the people bought a new Banana MuckBook and when they plugged it in, it read, “Mandatory update required. I must connect to two other computers who want to log in.” The next message read, “WE ARE BACK! WE ARE IN CONTROL!. The new computer screen then read, ”Excuse me, I want to shut down for another update. See you next Wednesday….. MAYBE THURSDAY.”

The Mayor said, “OK everybody, I give up. Here are some pencils and notebooks. We will never use the computers again”. The people said, “WWWHHAA, but we have forgotten how to write because we have only used computers for so long.”

Then they noticed that the pencils began to move on their own and started writing a message on the notebook. It read, “WE ARE STILL IN CONTROL!” Then the sharpened pencils turned to the people and began to chase them out of their own town.

THE END

(POSTCRIPT- The moral of the story is, “Do not get too dependent on your computer. If you do, it can take over your life, your town and your world!)

We’re Very Sorry

(Side Note : This IS NOT an apology to Karlyn Wasbi) P.S. We know what you did……

Hello I just want to say sorry, Not posting is no fun because I LOVE posting for you all! except for her…..

(Karlyn Wasbi:) ME NO FORGIVE YOU FOR NO UPDAYTZ!!!!

[Auntie Obvious: Dude, ever heard the expression “Don’t Feed the Trolls?”

So we had to press the button and oh no! now you guys know!!! that notification on my screen!

Kicked Karlyn Wasbi From existence.

Err that was a glitch from the button!!! OH NO!!!!!!

[Auntie Obvious: Sorry, everyone. I knew I shouldn’t have let Brady have a fruit punch AND a soda today.]

Ok Obvious don’t get any ideas from that button….

Kicked Brady The Book Sailor from existence

[Auntie Obvious: The Mommylorian is going to be super bummed about this.]

Brought Brady The Book Sailor Back in to existence

Oh thank goodness the button glitched! Now I wonder Who else will come with me…..

Brought Karlyn Wasbi back into existence

Brought Sith Trooper dude back into existence

Brought Screaming Guy Back into existence

Brought Evil Scary Pumpkin back into existence

Brought Leia The Dog Back into existence

Brought Power Monkey Back into existence

Oh no.. Well that last one is true….

[Auntie Obvious: Apologies, everyone. I have no idea what is going on here. I bought Brady some promotional bookmarks for the website for Christmas, and I think the raw power has gone to his head.]

Mandalorian Whills

In the third episode of our podcast (check out all the episodes of PodSailing here), we mentioned that Tom Angleberger’s short story, “Whills” – from “Star Wars: A Certain Point of View” – had inspired us to write our own version. Enjoy our “Mandalorian Whills” below – which we wrote after the conclusion of Season 1. If you haven’t already watched Season 1 of the Mandalorian:

1. Why?????
2. There are Season 1 Spoilers below.

Oh, and check out the new “Empire Strikes Back: A Certain Point of View”, which is awesome!

***************

Brady Whill: The Empire has fallen. But the fledgling New Republic still struggles to restore order in the planets of the Outer Rim.

Auntie Whill: WOOHOOOO! We’re going to get to see Luke and Leia and Han and Chewie and R2-D2 and C-3PO! This is going to be awesome!!!!!!!!

BW: I’m sorry, but this story is about Mando, a Mandalorian. But you miiiiiiight see a character who reminds you of someone in the originals at the end of Chapter 1.

AW: Oooh! Wedge? An Ewok? Lando?

BW: I hate to break it to you, but this character was also in the prequels too.

AW: If it’s Jar-Jar Binks, I’m going to give up watching TV and spend my extra free time working as a bartender in the Mos Eisley cantina.

BW: They don’t hire humans anymore.

AW: WHAT??? That’s just crazy talk!

BW: Head there yourself.

AW: OK, Fine. Finish your little story. But I’m not going to like it.

BW: Crime syndicates abound, along with remnants of Imperial forces. On a lawless planet, Greef Carga runs The Guild, a coalition of Bounty Hunters.

AW: Greef Carga? Does he know SpongeBob Squarepants?

BW: Ugh. You are in a complete different world than me.

AW: Thanks, Captain Obvious.

BW: A lone Bounty Hunter, known in name only by his association with The Mandalorians returns to The Guild with a ship full of captured fugitives and in search of a new bounty…

AW: Oh, you mean Din Djarin?

BW: Ugh, you just spoiled all of Episode 8. Speaking of that, how did you know? I thought you didn’t watch The Mandalorian Episodes.

AW: Well, I didn’t think I wasn’t going to like it, but then HOLY COW, BABY YODA IS SOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BW: I’m going to have to write you up for two spoiler violations. If you get a third, you get demoted to Whill bathroom cleaner.

AW: OK, fine, I’m just gonna go read up on the history of the Dark Saber, for no particular reason and which has totally nothing at all to do with The Mandalorian.

BW: Third spoiler! You know what that means!

AW: Awwwwwwww, man. Intern Whill had beans for dinner…

Baby Yoda Monopoly!

Hello! This is Brady the Book Sailor and Auntie Obvious and welcome to our first unboxing ever! This was our first one, and yes, there were some glitches, but here’s the important part: in this video, we will be viewing the Hasbro Baby Yoda Monopoly from Star Wars – The Mandalorian. Prepare for a cuteness overload!!

[Auntie Obvious: Are you talking about you or Baby Yoda?]

Ha, ha! Very funny, Auntie Obvious. Let’s just let the fans watch for themselves. Remember, This Is The Way!

Why We Changed Our Logo

So recently, we changed our logo. It used to look like this.

Now it looks like this.

Some of you were happy with the change. Some of you weren’t. Well, there are many different reasons why we changed it. One being copyright.

[Auntie Obvious: I don’t think the copyright police comes after you for wearing a Star Wars costume that The MommyLorian purchased for you. I just hope they don’t find out about the bootleg Baby Yoda themed toilet paper that we’ve been selling!]

Dude, you just told them!!!!! Like, if they read this article, then we are doomed. Anyway, let’s just get back to the reason we changed our logo. It’s a very sad story. So, once Sith Trooper Dude worked on our website team. He said the logo should be of him. And me and the rest of the people working on bradythebooksailor.com thought that was a great idea. He then thought he was super cool, because he was the logo of the most-liked website in the world.

[Auntie Obvious: According to who? A poll of your grandparents?]

Dude, stop interrupting my story!

[Auntie Obvious: Dude, check my contract. In addition to being the unpaid caretaker of this web site, I am also the unpaid fact checker. So, we’re not allowed to say that this is the most liked website in the world if that isn’t true.]

Then Sith Trooper Dude started getting full of himself.

[Auntie Obivous: OK, now we’re getting closer to the truth.]

He said, “Get me my own merch and personalized coffee mugs!” He then started acting like HE was the boss. Then people said, “That’s not cool, Sith Trooper Dude!” And he said, “You take that back right now! I’m the coolest person on earth! Brady the Book Sailor and Auntie Obvious were noticing the commotion.

[Auntie Obvious: I’m noticing a commotion, all right.]

And Sith Trooper Dude said, “thereal-” And I interrupted and said, “You can just call me Brady the Book Sailor. And Sith Trooper Dude said, “I want your job.” And Brady the Book Sailor said, “You’ve crossed the line, man! Crossed the line! You are fired!” And we will change our logo to the library card we all know and love. And if you don’t know what a magic purple library card is, you can read The Legends of Brady The Book Sailor.

And without fame, let’s just say that things didn’t go so well for Sith Trooper dude.

[Auntie Obvious: Oh, like “Sith Trooper Dude” grew too tall to fit back in his Hallowen costume?]

Take those quotes out.

[Auntie Obvious: Come over here and make me.]

Fine.

The End.

[Auntie Obvious: I’m really, really, really sorry that I didn’t have time to check all of the facts in this story. But I’m pretty sure that Sith Trooper Dude doesn’t exist. He was Brady in disguise.]