A Brady M. short story
It was a dark and stormy night! The villain People Club members were waiting outside the bank as they planned their next robbery. “OK, does every one remember the plan”, said Mr. Anti-Hero, AKA Badger Lee. “I am a little bit confused,” said Houdini, AKA Scowl Absalom. “So:”, said Badger, “Ninja Girl and Cat Thing will infiltrate the bank disguised as a stressed out bank employee and her therapy cat.” “I ain’t no ones therapy cat”, said Cat thing. Badger said, “Well you are just going to have to live with it if you want the money in the bank. Now, as I was saying, when me and scowl step outside the bank and wave our arms, that is Cat Things signal to start scratching other bank employees.” “Sorry for being so rude about it, I am starting to like the plan”, said Cat Thing.” “Apology accepted, Cat Thing,” said Badger kindly. He continues, “Scowl teleports me into the vault while the guards rush to help the employees. I crack the safe with my crowbar and we get out of there scot-free before the cops even know we did it.” A few minutes later it was time for Badger and Scowl to make their move. They wave their arms and Cat Thing starts attacking employees. As Badger expected, the guards left their posts to help.
Scowl teleported himself and Badger into the vault but they found that someone was already robbing it! But the thing was not a person, it was a horrid creature that looked half man and half bull, and it was covered in shaggy brown fur. Badger said to the beast, “I am sorry, but we were planning the rob the bank and we had an elaborate plan, so can you please step aside and let us rob?” “AAAARRRRGGGGUUUUHHHH!” , yelled the Minotaur. “This Minotaur’s bank. Me rob it. Scowl said, “Pretty Please, just one vault.” “NNNNOOOO”, said the beast, “Minotaur no share!” Scowl whispered to Badger, “He doesn’t share? What kind of villain is he anyway.” “A weird one”, said Badger. But they had no time to talk because the Minotaur was charging at them. Badger and scowl pulled out their crowbars and prepared for battle. The Minotaur picked up Badger and threw him against the wall, then Badger got up and struck the beast with his crowbar. But the Minotaur was able to pin down Badger who yelled to Scowl, “A little help here?” Scowl smacked the Minotaur with his crowbar knocking him off Badger. Just then they all heard sirens! The cops rushed downstairs to the vault and yelled, “Freeze! Are you two associated with these two?” as the cop points to Ninja girl and Cat Thing. Ninja Girl says, “Scot-free, huh Badger?” “I’ll take that as a YES”, said the cop. “What are you two doing here?” Badger said, “Well me and him were just fighting a Minotaur who happened to be in the vault.” “What Minotaur?” said the cop. “He was right here behind me.”, said Badger, but when he turned around there was nothing there. Badger thought, “At least prison doesn’t have termite infestation like the Villain People club HQ.”
They were all thrown into the prison vehicle and driven to jail. After they arrived, they were put into cells next to each other and each cell had two bunks. Badger and Cat Thing were put in the first cell and Scowl and Ninja Girl were put in the other one. Badger knocked on the wall and realized it was hollow so he could whisper to the two other members of the Villain Peoples Club. Badger whispered to Scowl, “What do you think that thing was that we fought?” Scowl replied, “They are called Manimals and Cat-Thing is one of them. They exist because of some kind of accident where their genes get screwed up. They are still classified as humans, but they look like animals.” Then they heard a loudspeaker announcement: “Badger Geri Lee, please report to the interrogation annex. “Seriously?”, said Cat-Thing, “You went by Geri?” “My Brother Theodore was ‘Theo’, so I needed a nickname too!”, said Badger. The guard went to the cell and unlocked it and grabbed Badger by the shoulder and took him to the annex. He sat down and faced a mustachioed police officer. The officer said, “I am Officer McButt.” Badger interrupts him, and says, “Your name’s seriously McButt? That’s hilarious!”, said Badger “Look who’s talking, Badger.”, said McButt, “Touche.”, said Badger. “I would like to know what you were doing last night.”, Said McButt. “I was robbing a bank!”, said Badger. Thanks for your honesty, Mr. Antihero.”, said McButt and he proceeded to hand Mr. Antihero a Lollipop. “Wow! “Thanks officer!”, said Badger, “I never knew prison gave out Lollipops!” But this was too good to be true because the lollipop was a sedative! Badger passed out and McButt took off a rubber mask revealing himself to really be…suspense… THE MINOTAUR! The minotaur got the police telephone and called a certain number. Heroboy picked up and said, “Did you get Mr. Antihero?” “YES! MINOTAUR GOT ANTIHERO.”, said the Minotaur.
Meanwhile the other members of the Villain People Club were sitting in their cells, feeling worried about Badger. But then they heard another loudspeaker announcement, “All prisoners report to the mess hall.” Cat Thing said, “We can go check on Badger since the interrogation room is on the way.” The doors to their cells opened automatically and they walked to the interrogation room. They cracked open the door and saw the Minotaur talking to Hero Boy and they overheard the conversation. Hero Boy said, “Bring the anti-hero to Hero Boy tower.” The Villain People knew that they had to escape and rescue Badger from Hero Boy’s tower. They proceeded to the mess hall and Ninja Girl said, “How are we supposed to escape, there are guards everywhere?” Then then heard a voice with a British accent say, “Hello chums, you need help breaking out of prison?” They turned around and saw a half man and half shark smiling at them. “The name is Landshark”, said the creature. “All you have to do to escape is yell ’PRISON RIOTTTTT“ and the all of the other prisoners began to yell and the guards left their posts at the door. Our heroes and the Landshark darted out the door to freedom.
They then found a sewer and crawled through it so the guards could not find their trail. Cat Thing said to Landshark, “What landed you in prison?” Landshark said, “Transporting a litter of puppies from Alaska to Arizona.” Cat Thing said, “I am not even going to ask anymore questions.” “If you don’t mind me asking”, said the Land shark, “Where are you guys going.” Scowl said, “Hero Boy Tower.” “I know where that is,” said Landshark. He led them to the next sewer exit and they came out of the humid tunnel. When they arrived at the tower, Hero Boy met them and said, “You are early, I haven’t even finished my ransom note yet. So, anyway, I need that tape where I said that I was evil.” “Oh, I have that”, said a voice from the back room. “OK, let me cut your zip ties so you can hand it over”, said Hero Boy. “Oh, I freed myself five minutes ago”, said Badger as he stepped into the room. He placed the cassette in Hero Boy’s hand. “So, that is it?”, said Ninja Girl. “Yep. Thank you for being cooperative.”, said Hero Boy” After the Villain People left, Hero Grabbed the cassette and put in the player and hit start. Rick Astley’s “Never Going to Give You Up”, begins to play. After the chorus, there is a voice over from Badger saying, “Well, looks like we won!” A very loud “AAARRRGGGUUUAAAHHH! Could heard coming from the tower.
Epilogue: Landshark said, “Cheerrio my friends. I am going to be headed back to Jolly old England.” Cat Thing said, “It’s a shame you’re leaving, because we have one extra plane ticket to France. We’re planning to steal an international tourist attraction.”
Note: Hi Book Sailors! I’m sorry to say, but this is my last story for the summer. If you need to satisfy your thirst to Keep Reading and Sail on, I recommend going to my friend Charlie’s website. It’s called CharlieTheBookWorm. Mr. Anti-Hero and Hero Boy will soon be added to the Meet the Team page as soon as Auntie Obvious gets around to it!