Mr. Antihero, The First Felony

A Brady M. Short Story

Meet Badger, AKA Mr. Antihero and AKA (self proclaimed) King of Pick-pockets.

It was Badger’s big moment. He was going to jay-walk through an intersection although the light said “DON’T WALK”. He put one foot on the road and then the other, but he noticed that some guy listening to music and not paying attention was blocking him. Badger directed the guy to the crosswalk and, before he could move on, the light turned to “WALK”! AAARRRRGGGGUUUHHH!! “I wanted to jay walk!”
So, he waited until the light said “Don’t Walk” again, and he stepped into the intersection. BAM!!! Badger was hit by a speeding vehicle. “I see why they outlawed jay walking”, said Badger as he flew through the air. He got up and dusted himself off and walked home. He turned on the TV and saw his image. He thought, “They are going to talk about the crime of mine.” But the footnote under his picture said, “Hero leads distracted man to the cross walk.” Badger said, “Oh no, now they think I am a hero.”

He went to take a walk in the park and sat down on a bench. Someone sat next to him and asked, “Are you Adam Steel?” Badger replied, “What?” The stranger said, “Thank you for using the code word, Adam, so I know it must be you. I am very fortunate to see you in your road-kill costume as well.” Badger looked sadly down at his clothes. The stranger said, “The Villain People Club really needs your help. If you want to find out more, head to 999 Evil People Drive.” Badger was excited. He could be part of a bad guy group although he had never heard of the Villain People Club. He knocked on the door at the address, which was a large tower. A man with an Afro and a goatee answered and said, “You must be Mr. Steel; come in.” Badger walked through the door and the man continued, “We are the Villain People Club. I am Scowl Absalom and they call me ‘The Great Houdini’ because I can teleport anywhere, for example……, BEHIND YOU!” He vanished and reappeared behind Badger. Scowl walked back in front of Badger and pointed to a cat on hind legs drinking from a glass of milk. He said, “That is Cat Thing. Nobody knows where he came from, but we know he is part man and part cat.” Cat Thing then said, in a very strong New York accent, “Oh boy, it looks like we have a newby here.” Houdini continued as he pointed to a woman in a black jumpsuit and said, “That is Everest Spades, AKA Ninja Girl. She won Best sword fighter in a competition comprised of the world’s worst sword fighters. We all have a problem. You know Hero Boy, the town’s hero? He has been framing us for crimes lately and there is one source that we know of to prove he has framed us, his journal!” Badger said, “How can we beat hero boy? He can lift anything he wants with his mind.” Scowl said, “We are going to break into his storage unit tonight when he is not around. So, are you in or out?”

“Alright” said Badger, “Let’s do this.”

Night fall came. They arrived at the storage unit. Scowl mimicked the voice of the owner of the storage unit and told employees that everyone could have the rest of the night off. All of them quickly left. Scowl teleported Badger inside and Cat Thing and Ninja Girl watched out for any security guards. Badger looked through the keys and found one marked “Hero Boy’s Unit”. He crept toward the unit and unlocked it. “Scowl, I am in” Badger yelled, “You can teleport to where Cat Thing and Ninja Girl are.” Badger finds the Journal on a shelf and removes it. “OOPS”, thought Badger as he noticed a scale under the spot where the journal had been. Just then he heard rapid beeping and then the storage unit blew up! “AARRGGUUHH” said Badger as he flew through the air. He landed by Scowl, Cat thing and Ninja Girl. Badger dusted himself off and said, “I got the Journal.” Scowl said, “Good job, Adam, but I thought you would get hurt in the explosion. Well, you look OK, so lets see the journal.” Scowl opened up the book and saw that it was completely……..BLANK! A voice in the distance said, “Ha, Ha, Ha!” Scowl, Cat Thing and Ninja Girl all said together, “Hero Boy!” Hero Boy said, “I am sooooo evil. Ha Ha, Ha. I am not so stupid to hide all of my plans in a journal that could be so easily stolen. And I never thought you three would be so stupid as to not get the real Adam Steel.” Cat Thing said, “What?” Ninja Girl said, “We had a perfect code word of WHAT.” “What” said Badger. “Yes, What”, said Ninja Girl. Hero Boy said, “What is a stupid code word.” A stupid code word is a code word that is not smart, said Scowl. “What, What was the code word?” said Badger. At that, Hero Boy said, “ENOUGH. No more about code words!”

You really enlisted Badger Lee, a weak wannabe criminal who calls himself Mr. Antihero AKA the King of Pick Pockets. Hero Boy then picked up Badger with his mind and tossed him into a lake. “NOOOO,” said the three members of the Villain People Club. Badger tried to swim to shore but before he reached it, he passed out. Scowl focused on Badger and was able to teleport him back to the Villain People Club tower. Despite the set back, the three decided to let Badger into their club. “After all”, said Cat Thing, “All of us villains lie to each other and do stupid things, like when I used Scowl’s toothbrush to crush a fly.” “What”, barked Scowl. “Oh no, is that a code word or a question,” asked Ninja Girl. Scowl did not respond.

“But something good did come out of last night,” said Ninja Girl as she pulled out a tape recorder. She played Hero Boy’s voice saying, “Ha,Ha,Ha, I am so evil.” “That’s the evidence we needed”, said Badger. “Maybe we can tell Hero Boy that we will share the tape with the police if he doesn’t stop framing us for crimes we didn’t commit.” The Villain People go to the top of the tower and Badger yells, “Hero Boy, we have something you may want to see.” Hero Boy came over and said, “Did someone call me?” Ninja Girl played the recording of Hero Boy. “If you agree to stop framing us, we will give it to you,” Said Scowl. Hero boy said, “Or maybe I’ll just take for free,” as he threw a metal box at them. Scowl teleported to Hero Boy and kicked him, Cat Thing scratched him, Ninja Girl whacked him with her sword, and Badger punched him, before he could stop them by moving other objects with his mind. “You got me this time, but next time it won’t be so easy”, said Hero Boy as he flew away.

The four members of the Villain People Club still had the recording if they found that Hero boy was framing them in the future. Which they all had a feeling would happen.


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