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A Christmas Surprise!

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The Feast Thief

Hello! This is my Thanksgiving carol about a thief who steals your Thanksgiving food and leaves you with something disgusting! I performed this with Dadat at Thanksgiving, and everyone loved it! It kind of reminded people of The Grinch!

The Feast Thief

(By Brady and Dadat)

Thanksgiving Day is finally here
It is time to us all to cheer
Unless you encounter the Feast Thief
A really bad guy who will give you grief.
He will steal your cranberries and turkey
And leave you with a smelly stick of jerky

The pumpkin pie will be slashed
And the sweet potatoes will be smashed
The bread rolls will have lots of mold
And the green beans will be very cold
But nothing is lost and you will not miss
Thanksgiving dinner, because he will leave you with this

A small soggy but very spicey pepper pie
And roasted eel that smells like a pig stye
Some old popcorn that didn’t pop
And smelly potatoes that look like slop
And if you think the stuffing may be good,
Fooled you, because it is made with rotten wood.

As you can suspect, the thief is not a good cook,
But what do you expect from a Thanksgiving crook?
Now you may think the Feast Thief is very rude
Just remember, Thanksgiving is not about the food,
It’s about family, friends, and gratitude for all we enjoy,
So, let’s all Give Thanks today with praise and a lot of joy.

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Stories: Why we Haven’t Posted As much

Hi I’m Bradythebooksailor from drumroll please………….

[Auntie Obvious: PHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBT]

Bradythebooksailor.com!!!!! Yes, I do know we have not been posting as much, but don’t worry we have you covered. See there are a lot of problems with posting. We have a new system where we copy and paste the stories and scan in the photos. Maybe that new system is the problem?

[Auntie Obvious: Or, it could be that I need an assistant.]

NOPE that is not the problemo but I’ll tell you what it is………. ever since I started doing videos and updates, it has been clouding our time. We also need to update the site every now and then but stuff like unboxings and commercials because they are time consuming to have good effects and audio. Also Auntie Obvious has to crop my face out of every second the unboxings. I think the system we have right now is fine and I am sorry to disappoint you but our current system is good. But I have an idea….. you guys could do a poll in the comments! If you vote 2 stories and hardly any videos and updates put 2N in the comments if you want 1 story ,and videos to be made SUPER often , and Auntie Obvious to lose here adminship and give it to me type 1A.

[Auntie Obvious: Right, I’m going to turn over administration of the website to you. And I’ll probably also leave you unsupervised with a box of matches, a hand grenade, a tiger, an air horn, and 30 rolls of toilet paper.]

OK I will take that part out, but……. I have been alone with 30 rolls of toilet paper before.

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Aqua Dolphin Meets Bubbles the Axolotl

Previously on Aqua Dolphin, our sorta hero decided he should find another line of work besides being a police officer, because he was not very good at it. He never caught the crooks! He thought he would open a restaurant, but he found out that it is hard to cook underwater because the fire kept going out. Next, he thought he would be a typist (he was sure he would be better than the world’s greatest typist), but he had no fingers and the computer wouldn’t work underwater. He then thought of a new job…………This one was perfect……..suspense……. He got a job at Dadat’s swimming pool and would charge kids to try to ride him. He always bucked them off. Even Brady M. tried.

(What did you expect, we told you it was no masterpiece.)

Aqua Dolphin was having a fun time bucking kids off his back at Dadat’s pool. After they got bucked off, he shot a gentle laser at each kid’s towel. “Hey”, one kid yelled as he looked at his towel with a big hole burned in it. “That was my favorite towel with the Star Trek characters on it.  Another Kid yelled, “That was my favorite towel with Frozen characters on it.” Sometimes Aqua Dolphin would send the gentle laser toward their beach bag and put holes in the clothes they had brought. He thought that was really funny but the Moms whose kids were still wet or had holes in their clothes did NOT think it was very funny at all. Then one kid came to the front of the line at Dadat’s pool, his name was Charles McRich and he said, “Can I have a try?”

Charles hopped on to Aqua Dolphin and said, “Me and you are going to have a fun ride.” When Aqua Dolphin prepared to buck him off, the boy said, “Nice Aqua Dolphin”, and slipped a pill into Aqua Dolphin’s mouth that made him go to sleep. Charles stayed on for five whole hours and then gave Aqua Dolphin a wake-up pill. (We told you this was not a masterpiece.)

When Aqua Dolphin saw Dadat give Charles the big trophy and the one hundred kagillion dollar prize for lasting five hours. Aqua Dolphin could not believe his eyes. Dadat was NOT happy! He asked Dadat for a two-day break and Dadat said yes.  Aqua Dolphin went to the underwater police and asked them to find out if Charles had cheated and arrest him if he did.

Aqua Dolphin talked to the newest officer who had taken his place. The new officer was called Bubbles the Axolotl. Aqua Dolphin asked Bubbles if he had a criminal file for Charles, but Bubbles said, “I do not have one. But we should go to Dadat’s pool to investigate the scene of the crime.” They went to Dadat’s pool and found two containers at the bottom of the pool. Bubbles swam to the bottom and took out some pills from each bottle.

Bubbles said, “That is proof that someone did cheat but we cannot prove that Charles did it.” Aqua Dolphin asked, “How can we prove that Charles did it?” Bubbles said, “There is an address on these pill bottles, which is 456123 North Jerk Face Lane.” Aqua Dolphin said, “I can prove that he is evil just by the address where he lives.” They went to the address and knocked on the door. ……suspense………

Charles answered the door and said, “What is that smiley faced water lizard and Aqua Dolphin doing at my house?” Bubbles said, “I am Officer Bubbles and I am an Axolotl, a salamander, not a lizard, thank you, very much.”

Aqua Dolphin said, “This house reminds me of the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland.” Charles said. “You take that back; my house is not creepy!” Bubbles said, “it is too, and it smells funny!” Eventually, Charles got tired of the insults and yelled, “Momma and Popsy, I need help.” The bully’s two parents came running to the door. Charles said, “can you send these two brats to prison? They said our house was ugly.” Momma said, “We were actually planning on a remodel with all of the money you brought home.” Bubbles said, “Do you mean the money he doesn’t deserve?” Popsy said, “What do you mean, Charles won that Dolphin riding contest fair and square, I saw it with my own eyes.” Officer Bubbles said, “Not really, he won it unfairly and unsquarely.”

(really a triangle – we told you this was not a masterpiece.)

The parents gave back the money to Dadat and Charles had to pay for the remodel with his allowance. And, peace was restored to Dadat’s pool.

The End

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The Haunting of Evil Scary Pumpkin ( a True Story)

So one morning I woke up and found a comment on bradythebooksailor.com and saw it was by Evilscarypumpkin. It was about how he wanted to haunt the site. Auntie Obvious replied and said we had a Halloween Haunting Special for just $150. I was like, “DUDE you just moderated a comment from a stranger!” And I also said that there was no reason to let the site become haunted from some scary dude.

[Auntie Obvious: Oh, do you think the Mandalorian paper plates that we just ordered were free? Like, it was “free Mandalorian merch day” on Scamazon? Also, what do you think happens when you let your website get haunted? You get cobwebs ALL up in your files, and it is NOT CHEAP to get tech services to come clean that stuff out. Did you want this guy to come haunt our site for FREE?]

YOU WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME SO YOU KNOW HOW BAD A HAUNTED SITE CAN GET! So anyway Auntie Kimberly wouldn’t budge on refunding the money.

[Auntie Obvious: It’s not my fault that EvilScaryPumpkin didn’t read the contract carefully. It said there was a five-day money back guarantee, not a five CENTURY money back guarantee. Cry me a river, EvilScaryPumpkin. We’ve already ordered the Mandalorian paper plates from Scamazon.]

Then why can’t you RETURN THEM!? So anyway the site started to get weird first everyone’s nice comments turned into annoying ones from Karlyn Wasbi.

[Auntie Obivous: Seriously, Dude, you CAN’T RETURN PAPER PLATES AFTER YOU’VE USED THEM.]

Don’t get me wrong Karlyn Wasbi is a nice person but she went crazy when we didn’t update the site enough. But then the haunting got a lot worse. Bats flew out of the computer, which Auntie Obvious was TOTALLY scared of.

[Auntie Obvious: First, I have some questions about “Karlyn”. Second, I wasn’t scared, I was just startled when FREAKING BATS STARTED FLYING OUT OF THE COMPUTER.]

But we realized what we needed to do, and I stuck a flash drive in Auntie Obvious’s computer then pulled it out and then went to the website settings and hit the “Delete Site” button.

[Auntie Obvious: Well, that’s a sad ending to the story. Wait…how am I reading this right now if the site was deleted? Unless…OH NO, THE SITE IS HAUNTED FOR REAL!!!!!!!]

[EvilScaryPumpkin: You were right, the site is haunted, and will remain haunted FOREVER! ……… MWAHAHAHAHA]

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#MaskUpTheWorld

#MaskUpTheWorld

So, I’m excited to start a hashtag! Yes, I started a hashtag! It’s called hashtag #MaskUpTheWorld. And yes, that is a picture of me. I can’t wait for us all to get back to seeing each other in person, but today I wanted to bring you something old and something new. (No relation to the saying, ewwwww. Gross.)

[Auntie Obvious: Dude, it’s just a wedding saying.]

I’m trying to start up a hashtag here! And it is true, I am going to give them something old and something new! The new thing is the hashtag (of course, because, yeah, duh), and the something old is the trailer that we made when we first released the website! Please don’t make Sith Trooper Dude angry. I’ve had enough trouble with that guy already.

[Auntie Obvious: Dude, have you been arguing with yourself again?]

Sith Trooper Dude: What? I’m not Brady!

[Auntie Obvious: Well, let’s just say that I’ve never seen the two of you together in the same room. Kind of like Batman and Bruce Wayne.]

Well, we’re so mad at each other that we won’t even speak to each other! Same thing for Batman and Bruce Wayne!

[Auntie Obvious: Mmmmmmmmkay. Do you want to tell people anything else about the trailer, or should I just post it?]

Okay, let it rip.

[Auntie Obvious: You’re the boss.]

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Aqua Dolphin: A Brady and Dadat Story

Once there was a dolphin whose name was Aqua Dolphin. Although he could not swim all that fast, he was very smart and, he had an eye that could shoot a laser. Now we do not know how he came to have a laser eye. (What did you expect, this isn’t a masterpiece).

 He was the policeman for the group of dolphins. He was good at his job because no one wanted to be hit with his laser and no one wanted to go to underwater prison. But one day, two teen age turtles who were faster than Aqua dolphin (wait a minute, we told you he was slow). These two turtles decided to play a prank on Aqua Dolphin. They found a mirror which would reflect back the laser. ………….suspense………..and……

Cliffhanger, (OK not really a cliffhanger yet!)

They swam past him really fast, and Aqua Dolphin could not catch them, so he fired his laser eye. Suddenly the turtles help up their mirror and the laser went the wrong direction and blew the door off of the underwater prison. “AAARRRRGGGGHHHH,” said Aqua Dolphin, “Now I have to start all over catching the bad creatures.”

But he had no prison with a door so he took all to the playground and told them to play nice while he found a new prison. (We told you this was not a masterpiece). Guess what, the bad creatures did not play nice. They cut in line, they wouldn’t share equipment, they jumped off the swings and they then flew out of the playground. “AAAARRRRGHHHH,” said Aqua Dolphin, Not again.”

Aqua Dolphin decided he was not cut out for police work. So he made a cardboard cutout of himself and put it up so the bad creatures would he was still around. But what would our almost hero do now. He thought he would open a restaurant, but he found out that it is hard to cook underwater because the fire kept going out. Next, he thought he would be a typist (he was sure he would be better than the world’s greatest typist), but he had no fingers and the computer wouldn’t work under water. He then thought of a new job…………This one was perfect……..suspense…….

He got a job at Dadat’s swimming pool and would charge kids to try to ride him. He always bucked them off. We have an interview with one of the boys who tried to ride him. Brady, the world champion dolphin rider, could not stay on Aqua dolphin for more than five minutes. Brady said, “AAARRRRHGGGH”, I’ll get you yet, Aqua Dolphin!”

(What did you expect, we told you it was no masterpiece.)

THE END

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Auntie Kimberly Runs Out of Coffee!!!

One day Auntie Kimberly woke up and went to the kitchen to make her favorite food, (or drink) COFFEE! But when she went to place where she stored her coffee beans, the jar was empty. Well not empty, there was one lone coffee bean. “AAAARRRRGGGGUGGGHHHH!” Shouted Auntie Kimberly. “This is terrible. Worst problem ever. What will I do? I must have coffee. Must have Coffee! Must have Coffee! It is the only food I crave. How did this happen?”

Auntie Kimberly didn’t know Dadat borrowed the beans and intended to replace them but he got distracted because Brady came over and he and Dadat began to write stories. Dadat also had to do Lincoln Blog number 12,245. So, he was too busy and completely forgot to replace the beans. Unfortunately, Dadat also forgot to make Gra’s coffee and she really got grumpy.

Although Dadat lived over a mile away, he heard Auntie Kimberly scream, “Where is my coffee!” Brady’s mom had a coffee party with Auntie Kimberly and Gra the day before because they all liked coffee and drank 13 cups apiece.

Auntie Kimberly thought, “I’ll go to the store and buy more coffee and I’ll buy more than one package”, but then she remembered there was a quarantine. AAAARRRRRGGGGGUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!! So she tried to order from Instacart but the store was sold out and the person brought her a bag of peanuts instead.

Auntie Kimberly was getting desperate. She called Dadat on the phone and asked if he could bring her some coffee. “OOOOPPPPSSSS!” said Dadat, who now remembered that he had forgotten to replace the coffee he borrowed. Dadat said he could be there in two hours. “Oh No” said Kimberly, “I will be really crazy by then. I will call the CEO of Coffee Kingdom and have them deliver. 

In the meantime Auntie Kimberly saw the single lone coffee bean and started chewing on it. “Hey” she thought, “this doesn’t taste that bad.” And that is why Auntie Kimberly now eats coffee instead of drinking it!

The End.

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A Story About America, Episode 2 – The Liberty Bell

By
Brady Washington, Kid Historian

One day Frederick was visiting Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with his parents and his little brother. His parents did not know that Frederick had a living drink in his pocket. The family decided to visit the Liberty Bell and went inside the small building where it is kept. Some of the living juice spilled on the Liberty Bell and “WOOOOSH!” and “WAAACK and “Ding!” and the Liberty Bell grew feet and legs and started walking toward Frederick and his family.

“What is happening,” yelled Frederick’s daddy. 

“Whoops”, said Frederick

And they heard a man’s voice say, “Hello, welcome to Philadelphia, but I am going home to London England where I was born and get more attention. They will ring me more often like no one ever rang me before and they will be more careful and not crack me. I have only two tiny cracks and do not want them to turn into one big crack.”

But, when he got to England, they rang the bell too hard and the two little cracks turned into a super volcano crack (That is really big).

So, the Liberty Bell shouted, take me to the United Hospital and maybe they can fix my crack.” 

Well, the hospital could not fix the crack but they offered to put a lot of duct tape on it. But, the liberty Bell said, “No thanks. I think I will go back to Philadelphia and maybe they can fix the crack.”

And when he got back to America they fixed his crack with two small magnets and that is they way he looks today. But, he can still talk but still looks like a Bell.

He is not like Emily, the former statue of liberty, or like anyone else, but is happy the way he is. 

He is a television reporter and sometimes you can see him reading the news.

The End

(Check out the facts below)

Dear readers,

This is a fiction story about America but some of the information is true- The Liberty Bell was made in London, it is in Philadelphia, and it does have a super volcano crack,

1.The Liberty Bell was made in London in 1752 for a building in Philadelphia.

2. The bell cracked a little when it was first rung but the crack was repaired.

3. The Bell was probably rung after the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

I hope you have fun with these stories of myths and legends. And, that you “Read it like you mean it!”

Brady Washington, Kid Historian