Welcome to our new story The Story of Karlyn Wasbi me and Obvious are next to our campfire roasting smores over this totally true tale!!!!
[Auntie Obvious: Dude. Not every tale needs to be told. This is one of them.]
LA LA LA NPT LISTENING!!!!
Once in the long forgoton year of 2020 an egg started hatching it was a species called a COMMENT TROLL They surfed websites and raided the comments…
[Auntie Obvious: After you finish reading this, if you’d like the last five minutes of your life back, please contact our complaint department, and they will send you a 10-page questionnaire to fill out. It will take about an hour.]
The one that hatched was called Karlyn Wasbi It’s parents Scam Wasbi and Copyright wasbi taught her how to raid a comments section…..
[Actually, looks like this is going to take up more like 10 minutes of your life. Sorry.]
Then when a story called Aqua dolphin went live in june Karlyn made her public debut she asked for an update, she got one. Then she went for MORE she got another one but then Karlyn WENT CRAZY.
[I mean, if there’s a bright spot here, it’s that Brady has to go to school tomorrow, so eventually, this story is gonna have to end.]
Hey! you were Ok with “Why We Changed our Logo” when it aired! this is the absolute same thing!!!
[Auntie Obvious: That one made a little more sense. Hey, peeps, go ahead and let me know who all wants a complaint form.]
Cancel the complaint form program now!!!!
[Auntie Obvious: Pretty sure it’s the law.]
Deleted The Complaint Form Program from existence
[Auntie Obvious: Nice job, genius. That starts the countdown to blow up the entire website.]
Brady The Book Sailor left the website
[Auntie Obvious: Dude, it’s a website, not an airport. You don’t have to announce when you are leaving. Come back soon, everyone to the new AuntieObvious.com website!]
Nope not happening ever. Now time for the unveiling of [***new website***]
our storage ran out…
[***Removed by Auntie Obvious because, DUDE, I *told* you we don’t own that domain name. Domain names cost money! I mean, it’s not like going to the doctor and getting a free lollipop. Well, I mean, technically, your parents and/or their insurance company paid for the lollipop, but it’s free to YOU.]
He is the Bearer of the Zipper. He is the Crusader of the Coats. No tank top is safe. It’s Hoodie Man! But every hero has to have a nemesis, and his is Winter Gear Girl who betrayed him and made his other enemy, Stinky Tank top, more powerful.
And framed Hoodie Man for it. He and his friends, Sweater Man and Jill Monsoon were sent to jail. But they escaped by winning a battle with Stinky Tank Top. After they escaped, they teamed up with Windbreaker to find a secret government science lab to get information about taking away Stinky Tank Top’s new powers. Their first effort, in Hoodie Man 3, failed. Now what?
On with our story.
When Stinky Tank Top kept his powers, Windbreaker said, “Well, this is a disappointment. A voice from behind said “It’s not a disappointment it’s one of our finest works of art.” Hoodie Man said “Who are you?” A small man walked to Hoodie Man and said “Hey, I am Exypnos. And this fine work here is project Tank Top. There are just a few kinks I need to take out.” Hoodie Man said, “A few Kinks!” As he opened up the door to reveal Hoodie Monster. Exypnos said, “I did not make that.” Hoodie man said, “I was just experimenting with your washing machine.
What is the purpose of it?” Exypnos said, “Well it all started when the Mayor did not want to lose his Tank tops.” But then a voice interrupted and said, “Did you enjoy your Honey Stingers, Hoodie Man?” The Windbreaker turned around and said, “Scarfskin, what are you doing here?” Scarfskin said, “I do not want you; I want Hoodie Man and that is because Scarfskin never really existed.” As he tore off the scarf and tossed his leather jacket to the ground, he said, “I am not even a guy, my name is Winter Gear Girl. Hoodie Man said, “Winter Gear Girl, what are you doing here?” She said, “Simple enough, I was spying on you when I was disguised as Scarfskin. I know all about your plans to take away Stinky Tank Top’s powers!” Then Hoodie Man ran to the other side of the Lab to the washing machine and ripped open the door. He said, “Hoodie Monster, Attack!” The Hoodie Monster ran out of the washing machine and attacked and tackled Winter Gear Girl…………suspense……..
The team ran into a different room in the lab and saw a new invention on a table. There were several jet packs, one for each of them. Hoodie Man said, “Quick, everyone grab one of these.” They strapped the jet packs on their backs, except for Exypnos. He said, “Those Jet Packs are unsafe. I will do it the nanny way” and he pulled out an umbrella. They all ran out of the lab and they took off flying. Windbreaker said, “This is more fun that sitting in first class on my plane, RIP, Rest in Pieces plane. (Author note, his plane went up in flames in the last book). They noticed Exypnos slowly floating with his umbrella. Masked Fleecer said, “Hurry up Einstein.” Exypnos said, “My name is not Einstein.” Sweater Guy said, “Whatever Einstein, just go faster.”
As Exypnos cranked up the speed on his umbrella he yelled, “My name is not Einstein, it is Exypnos!” Hoodie said, “At least you are going faster, Einstein.” “AAARRGGGUUUHHH” said Einstein. (Even the author is calling him Einstein). Exypnos said, “I am going to quit helping you then and I will fly off to a country where they do not make fun of my name.” So, he flew to Arizona, which he thought was a foreign country. Hoodie Man said, “Well it looks like we lost our scientist who could help us learn about Stinky Tank Top. We need to find someone really smart, really fast.” Jill Monsoon said, “What about Melon Tusk?” Windbreaker said, “Wasn’t he arrested for being a crazy person after his idea for arm wallet chips. Those are WWWEEEIIIRRRDDD!” Masked Fleecer rolled up his sleeve and said, “It’s not weird. Look I just bought something off of the on-line monkey shop with mine.” Hoodie Man said, “I don’t think Mr. Tusk can help us. But I know who can. I saw another scientist run out of the building when we were escaping. He said he was off to Economics Land, (the most boring theme park of all time), to see a light show about supply and demand, or something.”
So, our heroes flew off to Economics Land. Once they arrived, they had to answer an economics question to get in. Their question was, “Brady has enough money for a movie ticket and one popcorn. There were 2 movies showing and two sizes of popcorn One movie was $ 4.00 and the other was $6.00 and the small popcorn was $20.00 and the large was $60.00. Brady only had $44.00. What could he do if he spent all of his money? Hoodie Man quickly answered that he could get a small popcorn and see the $6.00 movie. The attendant said, “WRONG”, that is so wrong that you not only can’t get in, you have to go into the supply and demand dungeon and learn some math. So, they were put in the dungeon, and guess who was also in there……….suspense……..
There was the scientist and Zelon Tusk. Mr. Tusk said, “Stupid question. I did not want to spend all of my money on a movie and popcorn. The Scientist said, “I always hated Math.” Windbreaker said, “I know the answer and I can get us out of here. Hey guard the answer is, 2 small popcorns and the $4.00 movie.” The guard said, “You are right, go have fun in Economics Land. They took the scientist with them but Zelon Tusk was so annoying that they left him in the dungeon. Windbreaker asked the scientist to tell them all about project Tank Top. The scientist said, “What, I don’t know about Project Tank Top. What do you mean?” Hoodie Man said, “You sound guilty. Tell us what you know or back in the dungeon you go. Hey, I made a rhyme.” The scientist said, “Alright, you can know what project tank top is.” ………….suspense……….
“It all started when the Mayor did not want to have to send his dirty his tank tops out to be cleaned because he was pretty sure the dry cleaners would steal or damage his precious tank tops. So, he came to us, the secret government scientists. We came up with a faster washing machine he could keep in his house and a better detergent that would the tops would cling to him. We invited a scientist from another country to look at our invention, his name was Stinky. We said we were going to clean this smelly and stained tank top. They put it in the new washing machine and started it. But Stinky reminded us that we had forgotten the detergent and that we had not closed the lid. The lid was stuck. Stinky climbed to the top of the Washing machine with some detergent and when he yanked on the lid he fell in, the lid closed and he and the tank top spun and spun until he and the tank top were one. We tried to learn about this new mutation but there was no information about it. When Stinky emerged from the machine, he was very large and very powerful. And he was still stinking. Thus, his new name, Stinky Tank Top.”
As we were evacuating, we saw Winter Gear girl approach the giant monster and say, “I can help you in your rise to power. But you need to do me a favor. Help me defeat Hoodie Man, and we can rule the city together.”
Will Stinky Tank Top and winter Gear Girl rule the city? Will Hoodie Man find a cure to take away Stinky Tank Top’s powers?
By Auntie Obvious (Who is very grateful to Brady The Book Sailor for giving her some space on this website!)
Auntie Obvious loved to read. Now, if you are wondering how Auntie Obvious got her name, well…that’s kind of a long story. One for a different day.
On this day, Auntie Obvious was looking for her special bookmark. On the bookmark was a drawing of two happy dolphins playing in the ocean. The best part was the teeeeeny ceramic dolphin that hung from a light blue tassel that was looped around the top.
Auntie Obvious looked everywhere, and she found a lot of OTHER bookmarks that she was kind of embarrassed to admit she’d forgotten about – but her special bookmark was nowhere to be found.Just as Auntie Obvious was peeking underneath her refrigerator (where she found several dust bunnies, but no dolphin bookmarks), her cell phone started ringing. She stood up, brushed the dust bunnies off her sweatpants (she would have to deal with them later), and picked up the phone. It was an unknown number, which Auntie Obvious always found really annoying. She usually let those calls go to voice mail, but she picked up anyway. “Hello?”
“Oh, finally noticed I was gone, did you?”
Auntie Obvious was puzzled. “Who is this?”
“Duh,” said the voice on the other end of the line. “It’s your special bookmark, Marky.”
Auntie Obvious laughed nervously. She wondered what people would think if they knew she was having a phone conversation with a bookmark. “Your…name is Marky?”
“OH, YOU THINK MY NAME IS FUNNY?”
“No, no…that’s…um…an excellent name. So…uh, Marky…where are you?”
“Where are you?” Marky repeated in a mocking tone. “Don’t you care HOW I am?”
Apparently, Auntie Obvious had breached some sort of bookmark etiquette. “Um…yes! Of course! So…uh…Marky…HOW are you?”
“Actually, I’m terrible. Thanks for finally asking. Took you long enough.”
Auntie Obvious thought very carefully about her next question. She wanted to ask, “How did you get a cell phone?” Or, “How did you dial my number with no fingers?” But she didn’t want to breach bookmark etiquette again, so she took a deep breath, and said, “I’m really sorry to hear that, Marky. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Why yes,” said Marky, “there is.” “You can stop spending so much time with Doo Doo Head.”
Auntie Obvious was shocked. Even more shocked than she was to find herself talking on the phone to a bookmark. “You take that back RIGHT NOW, or I’m hanging up the phone,” she said sternly. “How DARE you talk about my nephew, Brady, that way?”
For a moment, there was silence on the other end of the line. Then Marky said, “Wait, what? I love Brady! He’s totally awesome! Why do you think he’s a Doo Doo Head?”
Auntie Obvious screamed into the phone: “I don’t! He’s NOT a Doo Doo Head! YOU said he was a Doo Doo Head!”
“I DID NOT SAY BRADY WAS A DOO DOO HEAD!”
Auntie Obvious took a deep breath. Now she wasn’t just talking on the phone to a bookmark. She was having a shouting match with one that involved using the word “Doo Doo Head”. A lot. She probably needed to lie down. Instead, she said, “OK, Marky, you clearly called *someone* a Doo Doo Head. So can you please tell me WHO the Doo Doo Head is?
“Oh, like you don’t KNOW.”
Auntie Obvious’ right eyebrow began to twitch. “Can you give me a hint? I mean, we’re in the middle of a pandemic. It’s not like I’ve been hanging out with very many people.”
“OK, fine. Since you clearly NEED A CLUE, I’ll give you four. ONE: Doo Doo Head is rectangular. TWO: Doo Doo Head has a purple cover. THREE: Doo Doo Head holds loads of books. Four: Doo Doo Head turns into a useless hunk of scrap metal and plastic when his battery runs out.”
Two clues in, Auntie Obvious was pretty sure she understood. “We’re…um…talking about my e-reader, aren’t we?”
“Took you long enough.”
“But…I…really LOVE my e-reader,” Auntie Obvious wailed. “I can take it on trips, and it hardly takes up any space in my suitcase!”
“Oh,” said Marky. “So you’ve done a lot of travelling in 2020?”
“I…well…I mean…no,” Auntie Obvious sputtered. “But…but…I can ALSO use it to highlight important passages while I’m reading a book!”
“Wow, that is impressive,” said Marky sarcastically. “If only there was something you could use to highlight important passages in regular books. You could call it…oh, I don’t know…a HIGHLIGHTER???
Auntie Obvious plopped down on the couch and sighed. She was not only having a loud argument over the phone with a bookmark, but the bookmark was actually making some excellent points. “Look, she said. Can’t I love you both? Maybe you could think of Libby as your annoying little sister?”
“My e-reader! Because it sounds kind of like “Library”! Ha, ha!”
“Oh, THAT’s super original,” Marky scoffed.
Auntie Obvious started to point out to Marky that bookmarks who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but she needed to get the conversation back on track. “Come on, wouldn’t it be great if we were all a big, happy, book reading family?”
“Fine,” said Marky. “But I have two conditions.”
“OK, what’s the first one?”
“You have to promise that my next job will be holding your place in a book from an independent, locally owned bookstore.”
“OK, that’s super reasonable,” said Auntie Obvious. What’s the other condition?”
“Your nephew’s website, BradyTheBookSailor.com, is doing a great job helping to get kids interested in reading. You should get him some promotional merch that will remind people to visit the website, so even MORE people will learn to love reading.”
“Wow, that’s actually a great idea,” said Auntie Obvious. “What do you think I should get? Drink koozies?”
“How about paper clip holders?”
“Ewwwwww. Gross. And probably really expensive”
“Yeah, that’s true. Hey! What about…bookmarks?”
“Took you long enough.”
So Auntie Obvious hung up the phone and ordered some promotional bookmarks for BradyTheBookSailor.com. Then she went online and ordered a book from her local, independently-owned bookstore.
Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Auntie Obvious saw a flash of movement. Right there, on the top of her “to be read” bookcase – where she was sure she had already looked a dozen times – was a teeny ceramic blue dolphin swinging on a light blue tassel…attached to a bookmark. It was Marky!
Auntie Obvious was super excited to find her special bookmark. And even though Marky and Libby were always a teeeeeensy bit jealous of each other, they all lived happily ever after as a big, happy, book reading – and book sailing – family.
Hello! This is my Thanksgiving carol about a thief who steals your Thanksgiving food and leaves you with something disgusting! I performed this with Dadat at Thanksgiving, and everyone loved it! It kind of reminded people of The Grinch!
The Feast Thief
(By Brady and Dadat)
Thanksgiving Day is finally here It is time to us all to cheer Unless you encounter the Feast Thief A really bad guy who will give you grief. He will steal your cranberries and turkey And leave you with a smelly stick of jerky
The pumpkin pie will be slashed And the sweet potatoes will be smashed The bread rolls will have lots of mold And the green beans will be very cold But nothing is lost and you will not miss Thanksgiving dinner, because he will leave you with this
A small soggy but very spicey pepper pie And roasted eel that smells like a pig stye Some old popcorn that didn’t pop And smelly potatoes that look like slop And if you think the stuffing may be good, Fooled you, because it is made with rotten wood.
As you can suspect, the thief is not a good cook, But what do you expect from a Thanksgiving crook? Now you may think the Feast Thief is very rude Just remember, Thanksgiving is not about the food, It’s about family, friends, and gratitude for all we enjoy, So, let’s all Give Thanks today with praise and a lot of joy.
Hi I’m Bradythebooksailor from drumroll please………….
[Auntie Obvious: PHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBT]
Bradythebooksailor.com!!!!! Yes, I do know we have not been posting as much, but don’t worry we have you covered. See there are a lot of problems with posting. We have a new system where we copy and paste the stories and scan in the photos. Maybe that new system is the problem?
[Auntie Obvious: Or, it could be that I need an assistant.]
NOPE that is not the problemo but I’ll tell you what it is………. ever since I started doing videos and updates, it has been clouding our time. We also need to update the site every now and then but stuff like unboxings and commercials because they are time consuming to have good effects and audio. Also Auntie Obvious has to crop my face out of every second the unboxings. I think the system we have right now is fine and I am sorry to disappoint you but our current system is good. But I have an idea….. you guys could do a poll in the comments! If you vote 2 stories and hardly any videos and updates put 2N in the comments if you want 1 story ,and videos to be made SUPER often , and Auntie Obvious to lose here adminship and give it to me type 1A.
[Auntie Obvious: Right, I’m going to turn over administration of the website to you. And I’ll probably also leave you unsupervised with a box of matches, a hand grenade, a tiger, an air horn, and 30 rolls of toilet paper.]
OK I will take that part out, but……. I have been alone with 30 rolls of toilet paper before.
Previously on Aqua Dolphin, our sorta hero decided he should find another line of work besides being a police officer, because he was not very good at it. He never caught the crooks! He thought he would open a restaurant, but he found out that it is hard to cook underwater because the fire kept going out. Next, he thought he would be a typist (he was sure he would be better than the world’s greatest typist), but he had no fingers and the computer wouldn’t work underwater. He then thought of a new job…………This one was perfect……..suspense……. He got a job at Dadat’s swimming pool and would charge kids to try to ride him. He always bucked them off. Even Brady M. tried.
(What did you expect, we told you it was no masterpiece.)
Aqua Dolphin was having a fun time bucking kids off his back at Dadat’s pool. After they got bucked off, he shot a gentle laser at each kid’s towel. “Hey”, one kid yelled as he looked at his towel with a big hole burned in it. “That was my favorite towel with the Star Trek characters on it. Another Kid yelled, “That was my favorite towel with Frozen characters on it.” Sometimes Aqua Dolphin would send the gentle laser toward their beach bag and put holes in the clothes they had brought. He thought that was really funny but the Moms whose kids were still wet or had holes in their clothes did NOT think it was very funny at all. Then one kid came to the front of the line at Dadat’s pool, his name was Charles McRich and he said, “Can I have a try?”
Charles hopped on to Aqua Dolphin and said, “Me and you are going to have a fun ride.” When Aqua Dolphin prepared to buck him off, the boy said, “Nice Aqua Dolphin”, and slipped a pill into Aqua Dolphin’s mouth that made him go to sleep. Charles stayed on for five whole hours and then gave Aqua Dolphin a wake-up pill. (We told you this was not a masterpiece.)
When Aqua Dolphin saw Dadat give Charles the big trophy and the one hundred kagillion dollar prize for lasting five hours. Aqua Dolphin could not believe his eyes. Dadat was NOT happy! He asked Dadat for a two-day break and Dadat said yes. Aqua Dolphin went to the underwater police and asked them to find out if Charles had cheated and arrest him if he did.
Aqua Dolphin talked to the newest officer who had taken his place. The new officer was called Bubbles the Axolotl. Aqua Dolphin asked Bubbles if he had a criminal file for Charles, but Bubbles said, “I do not have one. But we should go to Dadat’s pool to investigate the scene of the crime.” They went to Dadat’s pool and found two containers at the bottom of the pool. Bubbles swam to the bottom and took out some pills from each bottle.
Bubbles said, “That is proof that someone did cheat but we cannot prove that Charles did it.” Aqua Dolphin asked, “How can we prove that Charles did it?” Bubbles said, “There is an address on these pill bottles, which is 456123 North Jerk Face Lane.” Aqua Dolphin said, “I can prove that he is evil just by the address where he lives.” They went to the address and knocked on the door. ……suspense………
Charles answered the door and said, “What is that smiley faced water lizard and Aqua Dolphin doing at my house?” Bubbles said, “I am Officer Bubbles and I am an Axolotl, a salamander, not a lizard, thank you, very much.”
Aqua Dolphin said, “This house reminds me of the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland.” Charles said. “You take that back; my house is not creepy!” Bubbles said, “it is too, and it smells funny!” Eventually, Charles got tired of the insults and yelled, “Momma and Popsy, I need help.” The bully’s two parents came running to the door. Charles said, “can you send these two brats to prison? They said our house was ugly.” Momma said, “We were actually planning on a remodel with all of the money you brought home.” Bubbles said, “Do you mean the money he doesn’t deserve?” Popsy said, “What do you mean, Charles won that Dolphin riding contest fair and square, I saw it with my own eyes.” Officer Bubbles said, “Not really, he won it unfairly and unsquarely.”
(really a triangle – we told you this was not a masterpiece.)
The parents gave back the money to Dadat and Charles had to pay for the remodel with his allowance. And, peace was restored to Dadat’s pool.
So one morning I woke up and found a comment on bradythebooksailor.com and saw it was by Evilscarypumpkin. It was about how he wanted to haunt the site. Auntie Obvious replied and said we had a Halloween Haunting Special for just $150. I was like, “DUDE you just moderated a comment from a stranger!” And I also said that there was no reason to let the site become haunted from some scary dude.
[Auntie Obvious: Oh, do you think the Mandalorian paper plates that we just ordered were free? Like, it was “free Mandalorian merch day” on Scamazon? Also, what do you think happens when you let your website get haunted? You get cobwebs ALL up in your files, and it is NOT CHEAP to get tech services to come clean that stuff out. Did you want this guy to come haunt our site for FREE?]
YOU WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME SO YOU KNOW HOW BAD A HAUNTED SITE CAN GET! So anyway Auntie Kimberly wouldn’t budge on refunding the money.
[Auntie Obvious: It’s not my fault that EvilScaryPumpkin didn’t read the contract carefully. It said there was a five-day money back guarantee, not a five CENTURY money back guarantee. Cry me a river, EvilScaryPumpkin. We’ve already ordered the Mandalorian paper plates from Scamazon.]
Then why can’t you RETURN THEM!? So anyway the site started to get weird first everyone’s nice comments turned into annoying ones from Karlyn Wasbi.
[Auntie Obivous: Seriously, Dude, you CAN’T RETURN PAPER PLATES AFTER YOU’VE USED THEM.]
Don’t get me wrong Karlyn Wasbi is a nice person but she went crazy when we didn’t update the site enough. But then the haunting got a lot worse. Bats flew out of the computer, which Auntie Obvious was TOTALLY scared of.
[Auntie Obvious: First, I have some questions about “Karlyn”. Second, I wasn’t scared, I was just startled when FREAKING BATS STARTED FLYING OUT OF THE COMPUTER.]
But we realized what we needed to do, and I stuck a flash drive in Auntie Obvious’s computer then pulled it out and then went to the website settings and hit the “Delete Site” button.
[Auntie Obvious: Well, that’s a sad ending to the story. Wait…how am I reading this right now if the site was deleted? Unless…OH NO, THE SITE IS HAUNTED FOR REAL!!!!!!!]
[EvilScaryPumpkin: You were right, the site is haunted, and will remain haunted FOREVER! ……… MWAHAHAHAHA]
So, I’m excited to start a hashtag! Yes, I started a hashtag! It’s called hashtag #MaskUpTheWorld. And yes, that is a picture of me. I can’t wait for us all to get back to seeing each other in person, but today I wanted to bring you something old and something new. (No relation to the saying, ewwwww. Gross.)
[Auntie Obvious: Dude, it’s just a wedding saying.]
I’m trying to start up a hashtag here! And it is true, I am going to give them something old and something new! The new thing is the hashtag (of course, because, yeah, duh), and the something old is the trailer that we made when we first released the website! Please don’t make Sith Trooper Dude angry. I’ve had enough trouble with that guy already.
[Auntie Obvious: Dude, have you been arguing with yourself again?]
Sith Trooper Dude: What? I’m not Brady!
[Auntie Obvious: Well, let’s just say that I’ve never seen the two of you together in the same room. Kind of like Batman and Bruce Wayne.]
Well, we’re so mad at each other that we won’t even speak to each other! Same thing for Batman and Bruce Wayne!
[Auntie Obvious: Mmmmmmmmkay. Do you want to tell people anything else about the trailer, or should I just post it?]