Categories
Tom and Harry

Tom and Harry 4: Little Red Riding Hood

This story was inspired by the Hoodwinked Movies. Help a Book Sailor out: if you know where I can watch Hoodwinked 3: The Fellowship of the Hood, please let me know in the comments!

When we last left Tom and Harry, Harry won a battle on the flying Roombas with Isaac Bonjour. As he was falling in the water, Isaac yelled, “you have not seen the last of mmmmeeeeeeee!” After he was in the water, Isaac yelled, “I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White star Line about all of this.” Harry said, “Oh no, not again. I hated that movie, too much kissy, kissy.”

And Tom, Harry and Ronald went back to Critterville, and lived happily ever after. At least they thought so!

Isaac Bonjour had caught the attention of a passing cruise ship by yelling, “Please help me, I am just a little squirrel floating in the ocean, with no water.” The girl who was standing at the railing was reading a newspaper that had an ad; it read, “Wanted Isaac Bonjour -$2,000 reward” and the picture looked exactly like the little squirrel she saw floating in the water! She shrugged! She thought, “Maybe it is just a coincidence, I’ll have the ship stop and pick him up.”

Isaac said to the girl who was wearing a red hoodie and red jeans and was holding a basket, “Thank you. You never told me your name.” The girl replies, “My name is………But Isaac interrupts her and says, “Ok, Little Red Riding Hood”, making up a name. The girl says, “That is not my actual…………” But Isaac interrupts her again and says, “Do you ever get money for running errands?”  “Yes I do, on special occasions,” replied the girl, “And sometimes my Granny gives me money to take muffins and other sweets to her.” Isaac said, “Well, what if you could make that money without doing any work?”  She said, “I would like to learn how to do that.”

Isaac says, “I would like to win the Crittersville Cup, which would give me $10 Million.

Which I could turn into Euros and be the richest squirrel in France. But I need money to fix my Roomba and enter the contest. Do you see that island, the Crittersville Bank is there? That is where I will get money, but I need you to help me get the money from the bank.” So, the girl and Isaac take a lifeboat to the island.

Meanwhile, Tom and Harry are headed for the airport to pick up their friend Wolfy. Their friend said, “Hey boys, that flight from the woody woods took a very long time, because of turbulence. So, how have you guys been?” Harry said, “Good” and Tom said “Alright. How are you?” Wolfy said, “OK, but I heard about something you will want to know. I saw that little brat in the red hoodie. She was selling her granny’s cookies to people, but when I asked for one, she sprayed me with wolf repellant! When I landed, I saw her and Isaac Bonjour leaving the Crittersville Bank with bags of cash, and they were riding on a Roomba. Isaac had a certificate as an entry for the grand Critterville race.” Tom said, “I have seen Isaac cheat in races before.” Harry says, “That guy defines evil!”

Wolfy, Tom and Harry set off to register for the big race. The rules were that all roombas must be set at the speed of forty miles per hour, or must have a seat belt if go they go faster. No roombas can use their jets or they will be fined $10 million, also, no eating on the Roomba during the race because that can cause motion sickness and be messy. Isaac Bonjour walks up behind them and says, “Bon jour, are you guys here for the race?” Wolfy said, “I’m going to call 911, because you’re a known criminal.” Isaac said, “Gotta go! Bye!” And then Little Red came behind him and sprayed Wolfy with Wolf Repellant. Wolfy said, “Hey, come back here” to Little Red Riding Hood and got out his Roomba, Lady Roomba, and rode it to where Little Red was. Little Red escaped, but accidentally dropped the goodie basket. Wolfy picked it up and said, “Finally! I got my hands on one of these stupid goodies!

“Oh, this tastes like the convenience store goodies! There’s a convenience store in Woody Woods, and these taste just like those. Little Red is a faker!” So Wolfy called Little Red’s Grandma and told her about what Little Red had done. So the grandma got a Roomba and decided to race against Little Red to make her pay for her crimes. Wolfy said to the Grandma once she arrived, “Yeah, sorry about pretending to be you and stuff. That didn’t go exactly the way we staged it.” “That’s OK, slugger,” said the Grandma. “So now, let’s race Little Red.”

“And Isaac Bonjour,” Harry added.

Tom said, “Are you ready, Harry?” “Born ready!” said Harry. Wolfy said, “Let’s throw Little Red and Isaac into prison and get that $10 million!”

They walked out on the stadium. Ronald had had a seat belt attached. Rigged Roomba was completely fixed and was as dangerous as ever. Rigged Roomba said, “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”

“Come on, man,” said Harry. “You had to Rickroll us?” “Sorry,” said Isaac. “It’s just one of the settings.”

Wolfy said, “Not cool, dude.” But right then, the race official fired his gun. And Little Red was on a sugar high, so she drove the Roomba. And Isaac was in back, handing her Kool-Aids, and once she chugged them, she threw the cups into the way of Tom, Harry, Wolfy, and the Grandma.

Our heroes dodged all of the litter that Little Red threw at them. And then Isaac started giving Little Red candy and doughnuts.  And once the finish was near, Little Red wasn’t looking so good, so Isaac went 41 miles per hour, and used his jets to get them over the finish line. Little Red and Isaac went flying, and Isaac was fined $10 million dollars for not wearing their seat belts while on the Roomba and for eating while driving and for using their Roomba’s jets. And what happened to Little Red, we humble authors cannot tell you exactly, because…well, it’s too messy.

The cheaters obviously didn’t win, so the trophy and the $10 million went to our heroes.

THE END.

Categories
Uncategorized

Percy Jackson & the Olympians Review!

Hey, Book Sailors, check out my review of the Percy Jackson & the Olympians series! (Warning: spoilers ahead!)

Categories
Videos

Books and Blankets

Hey, Book Sailors! Check out this special Christmas video from Brady the Book Sailor – and if it inspires YOU to donate books and blankets to your favorite cause, let us know in the comments or post on social media using #BooksAndBlankets!

Categories
Brady the Book Sailor

‘Twas Three Weeks Before Christmas (MCU Edition)

Hey, Book Sailors! Auntie Obvious here. Brady and I binged the entire MCU in 2021, and we wanted to share this poem with you. I wrote the first draft, and then showed it to Brady. He super politely told me that it was good, but that he had some ideas to make it even better. (He was right.) Never underestimate the power of a good story editor! Feel free to dive right in, or if you’d like a refresher on Book Sailors (and GrapeBeard the friendly pirate), you can check out The Legends of Brady the Book Sailor.

‘Twas Three Weeks Before Christmas (MCU Edition)

‘Twas three weeks before Christmas, but that wasn’t all,
It was time for the MCU Book Sailor Ball!

Brady and Auntie were in excellent cheer.
(They watched the whole MCU for the first time this year)!

Their +1 for the party was the pirate GrapeB.
He had a beard full of grapes and he smelled like the sea.

They turned onto Bleeker, as silent as ninjas,
When 177A’s doors blew right off their hinges!

Out ran three Hulks, two Rhodeys, four Draxes,
Five Thors with hammers, and three Thors with Axes.

Four Quills, four Gamoras, it was super exiting!
(Some of them dancing, and some of them fighting.)

Six T’Challas, Five Shuri’s, four Wandas, three Visions,
Six Rocket Racoons, (with loads of munitions)

Five Natashas, Four Furys (alert for an ambush),
Five Yelenas with two dogs named Fanny and Tush.

All of the Lokis (with helmets of gold),
A bunch of Steve Rogerses (both young and old),

Ten different Shang-Chis with One Hundred Rings,
A bunch of Sam Wilsons with both shields and wings.

Three Captain Marvels, Three Kates and three Clints,
(Oooh, maybe they’ll share Hawkeye spoilers and hints),

Three Mantises, Three Groots (adult, baby, teen),
And several Pietros (hyped up on caffeine).

Three Wasps and six Ant-Men, a bunch of Eternals,
Some Happys and Buckys (with airplanes and journals).

Five Peppers, five Tonys (who loved her, always),
Five Peters, five MJs, five Neds, Bens, and Mays.

That left one Dr. Strange, who was chastizing Wong,
Brady said, “Excuse us, Doctor, has the Ball gone all wrong”?

“No, welcome, Book Sailors! Sorry for my curses!
But Wong KNOWS that our party policy is NO multiverses!”

Wong shook all their hands and said, “Please follow me!”
And stepped through a gateway labeled, “Party Plan B”!

They emerged at a building that gleamed and it shined,
With “Rogers: The Musical” on large yellow signs!

Wong said to the usher, “I don’t mean to presume,
But might we get 200 rush tickets for the MCU room?”

“Oh, yes! Heroes and Book Sailors, please don’t despair!
(The usher was tall, thin, and mustached – and had grey hair.)

“The room is amazing. (Wanda’s the inventor).
With Chaos Magic, each seat is front row center!”

Wong said to the Book Sailors, “You won’t need your masks.
COVID got crushed in the MCU ‘cause we all got vaxxed!”

“Great!” Brady said. “I do have a question for you:
Are the villains invited to attend the ball, too?”

“Like Draykov, Agatha, Mysterio, Ego,
Thanos or Killmonger or Helmut Zemo?”

“Will I see Ultron? Hela? Or yell, DORMAMMU!!!?
Or would they just cause mayhem that you’d have to undo?”

Wong said, “We didn’t invite them because last year’s ball went bad;
Thanos snapped out half the Book Sailors – and their parents were MAD.”

“We let Loki come back, after his change of heart.
Now, take your seats! The show’s about to start!”

“Rogers: The Musical” made them laugh, gasp, and cry!
They ate popcorn and ice cream and a big apple pie.

When the play and the standing ovations were through,
Party Thor stood and said, “NOW what should we do”?

Peter Quill shouted out, “I’ve got an idea that’s groovy!
Let’s binge watch all the MCU series and movies!”

Brady said, “What fun, but I’m now in a fix.
That’ll take DAYS, but I’m due home at six.”

“No worries, kid,” said Rocket Racoon,
“The spirits (and Wanda) will do it all in one afternoon!”

“But there’s still one issue that might cause disorder:
Do we watch them in story or release date order?”

Wanda said, “Please refrain from fights or taunts.
My Chaos Magic shows the order that each person wants!”

So they settled in their chairs with a snack and a drink.
And what should’ve taken DAYS went by in a blink.

At the final post-credit scene, they all gave a cheer,
Auntie said, “I’m glad I thought of watching the MCU this year!”

GrapeB said, “Auntie, your jokes are the WORST.
We all know that Brady totally thought of this first.”

As Auntie said, “Humph! My jokes are all witty!”
GrapeB looked down and cooed, “Awww, who’s a good kitty?”

GrapeB reached out his hand to give the furball a pat.
But Brady full body tackled him, yelling, “THAT IS NO CAT!!”

With the crisis averted, they headed for the door
The MCU Book Sailor Ball was all they’d hoped for and more.

Brady said, “Thank you so much to everyone here
For the friendship and laughter and inspiration this year.”

They all walked out humming the “Save the City” song,
Brady winked at the usher (it was Stan Lee all along).

“Thanks, Stan for your stories, they really do shine.
Merry Christmas to all – in every timeline!”

*************

Written by: Auntie Kimberly

Story editor: Brady

Snacks: GrapeB

Featuring (in order of appearance): Hulk, Rhodey, Drax, Thor, Peter Quill, Gamora, T’Challa, Shuri, Wanda, Vision, Rocket Racoon, Natasha, Fury, Yelena, Fanny, Tush, Loki, Steve Rogers, Shang-Chi, Sam Wilson, Captain Marvel, Kate, Clint, Mantis, Groot, Pietro, Wasp, Ant-Man, Eternals, Happy, Bucky, Pepper, Tony, Peter, MJ, Ned, Ben, May, Dr. Strange, Wong, and Stan Lee.

*************

If we could show you this poem on a cinema screen
You KNOW that there’d be a post-credits scene.

So before the ball ended, Brady asked, “a favor, pretty please?,”
“I’m feeling kind of hungry. Can we all stop at McD’s?”

Auntie said, “Brady, that would be a mistake!
New York has the BEST food! Pizza! And cheesecake!”

Tony Stark said, “Brady, your Auntie has a good point.
About two blocks away there’s a great Shawarma joint.”

So they all ordered Shawarma before the ball adjourned.
And quietly ate ‘round a table. (The Book Sailors Will Return).

Categories
Uncategorized

Book Sailor Animations First Movie!

Happy Halloween, Book Sailors! And I am excited to say that Bradythebooksailor.com is getting its first ever movie, called “Geoff the Ghost”. I sure hope you enjoy this little short film, because I spent a lot of time working on it. I do not like stop-motion animation! So without further ado, enjoy the show!

Categories
The Kind Little Truck Stories

The Kind Little Truck Visits Truckingham Palace

The Kind Little Truck was about to go on a big vacation, to the United Kingdom (UK) with his friends, Garbage Truck, Little Dipper, and Flat Head Car.  His friends already had a passport, but he needed a passport, so he went to the Post Office and ordered one. Then he saw the Camera Car, who would take his picture, talking to his boss. The Camera Car said to the boss, “So do I really have to take that truck’s picture? I am so hungry. I need to take my lunch break early.” The boss said, “Not yet. You must also take pictures of any more people who are in line before you can go.” The Kind Little Truck noticed that there were more people in line and heard them asking for passports. The Kind Little Truck offered to help take pictures so that the Camera Car could eat lunch earlier.

Then The Kind Little Truck, waited for a couple of days and received his new passport in the mail. Next, The Kind Little Truck decided to help his friend Garbage Truck pack for the trip, because he was the only one who had not finished packing. He just couldn’t decide what to wear. Kind Little Truck knocked on Garbage Truck’s door at his house. Which was really a garage. The Garbage Truck answered and when Kind Little Truck walked in, there were clothes all over the floor, and the furniture, and his bed. Kind Little Truck said, “Lets get going, we have a lot of work to do.”

The Kind Little Truck said, “Lets throw all of the clothes into two piles, one to pack and one to leave. Garbage Truck said, “I have already done that, that tiny pile over there is the leave pile. All of this is the pack pile.” Kind Little Truck said, “You know you can only take two suitcases on the airplane and only two into the UK. This take pile would need 15 suitcases. So, I have an idea. You can pick out your 14 favorite outfits, and the rest have to stay behind.” Garbage truck said, “Oh no. How am I going to decide?” Kind Little truck took a blindfold and covered Garbage Truck’s eyes and told him to reach blindly into the pile and take out 14 outfits without looking. Kind Little Truck said, “When you pick one out, I will put it in the suitcases until you have 14 packed.” When they were finished, Kind Little Truck put all of the leftover outfits with the left pile. Garbage Truck said, “Thank you for the help.”

The time to leave home finally came and The Kind Little Truck was all ready and they were to meet at the airport. When Kind Little Truck saw Flat Head Car, he was really upset. His large bag weighed too much and the airline would not check him in. Fortunately, Kind Little Truck had packed so well that he had some extra room in his bag and offered put some of Flat Head Car’s clothes in his bag and they both were able to check in. Flat Head Car said, “Thank you for helping me.”

On the airplane, there was a family sitting in his row, but they had another kid who had to sit somewhere else. Kind Little Truck said, “I would be willing to exchange seats with your kid so you can all sit together. The mother said, “Thank you.”

Kind Little Truck and his friends landed in the UK and went to their hotel, and Kind Little Truck had ordered a nice room in a perfect location with a view of Big Ben and Truckingham Palace. When they checked in, there was some mistake and someone else had been given Kind Little Truck’s room. Little Dipper’s room was available and was a lot like Kind Little Truck’s room. The hotel told Kind Little Truck he would have to stay in a different hotel. Little Dipper remembered all of the nice things Kind Little Truck did for others and said, “Kind Little Truck, you can have my room, and I will stay at the small hotel.” Kind Little Truck said, “Thank you, Little Dipper.”

The next morning the friends met at Truckingham Palace where they had tickets for a tour and they hoped that they might meet the Queen, but it was a small chance.  When they arrived, Flat Head Car kept trying to talk to the guards.  He didn’t know that they were not supposed to talk, so, he just thought they were rude. When it came time for their tour, they went in the Palace and their guide took them to ten different rooms, but none of them were bathrooms, and Flat Head Car really needed one. Because, when all of the others made a bathroom stop before the tour, he was too busy trying to get the guards to talk. And he was too embarrassed to ask the guide. The Kind Little Truck helped Flat Head Car by asking the guide if he would tell Flat Head Car where to find a bathroom. The guide tells Flat Head Car, “Go back down the hall, make two lefts and two rights, and you will see the dining hall and the restroom is southwest of the kitchen. It is on your right. Meet us in fifteen minutes at the Grand Living Room, which is just down this hallway”  Flat Head had to go so bad that he bolted off. He missed at least one turn, maybe two. ……..suspense…….

Meanwhile Kind Little Truck, Garbage Truck and Little Dipper continued the tour and saw the Grand Hall. It was very beautiful and shiny. Little Dipper said, “I have never seen a place like this before.” The guide started telling them about the history, but Garbage Truck only wanted to look at the room and put a finger to his lips to quiet the guide. The Kind Little Truck was getting tired and decided to sit down. There was a big wooden chair at the end of the hall and he plopped down in the chair. “Oh No.” shouted the guide as a group of palace guards flooded the room and surrounded Kind Little Truck. Now, one of the guards who are supposed to remain silent, removed his mask and yelled, “Sir, on behalf of the Queen’s orders, you are under arrest! You cannot sit on the throne!” The Kind Little Truck was not arrested but the guards escorted them out of Truckingham Palace.

In the meantime, Flat Head Car was lost and still had not found a bathroom. He noticed a door that was partially open and when he went in, he found the Queen and she was reading a book called Truckey Potter and the Philosopher’s Car. Flat head Car said, “Hey lady, I read that book too. It’s really gruesome when Cardemort is on the back of Professor Carill’s head.” The Queen turned around and said, “Really, oh no, you spoiled it for me!” She had the guards escort Flat Head Car out of the Palace, too. Poor Flat Head Car, he had still not found a bathroom.

When all of the friends were together outside the Palace, Flat Head Car finally saw a sign for a restroom. The friends began to plan their next day’s adventure. Watching the friends when they were walking back to their hotels, from a hotel room with a great view of Truckingham Palace and Big Ben, was a small funny looking car..….a Kia Soul! Maids said that if they stood outside the room, they could hear maniacal laughing

To be continued.

Categories
Reading Regatta

The Finish Line: Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta!

Hey, Book Sailors! The Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta has reached the finish line…and you will NOT believe who won! (OK, you might.)

Here is the reading list and point total for Brady:

  • J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (500)
  • J.K Rowling – Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (500)
  • J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (500)
  • J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (1,000)
  • J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (1,000)
  • J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (1,000)
  • J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Death Hallows (1,000)
  • Eoin Colfer – Artemis Fowl (500)
  • Justina Ireland – Spark of the Resistance (500)
  • Rae Carson – Rise of Skywalker Novelization (500)

For a grand total of…7,000 points!!!!

And here is the list and point totals for Auntie Obvious:

  • J.R.R. Tolkien – The Hobbit (250)
  • J.R.R. Tolkien – The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (500)
  • Cavan Scott – The Rising Storm (250)
  • Justina Ireland – Out of the Shadows (250)
  • Daniel José Older – Race to Crashpoint Tower (250)
  • Rebecca Roanhorse – Race to the Sun (250)
  • Patrick DeWitt – Undermajordomo Minor (250)
  • Madeleine L’Engle – A Wind in the Door (250)
  • Susan Meissner – The Nature of Fragile Things (250)

For a grand total of…2,500 points! Oh, wait. We have to add in the 3,250 pity points that Brady gave to Auntie Obvious to make the contest more interesting. So that’s a total of 5,750 points!

So the reigning champion of the First Annual Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta is…Auntie Obvious!

[Brady: Are you sure you did the math right, Auntie Obvious?]

[Auntie Obvious: Um….it appears that my math was right, but I might have made a teeeeensy typo and misspelled “Brady” as “Auntie Obvious”. It could happen to anyone. Anyway, well, done, my Book Sailing friend! What are you with all your winnings?]

[Brady: We didn’t have a budget for prize money, remember? How about you give me one Twinkie, and a Snips* plus a refill?]

[Auntie Obvious: OK, done.]

We hope you enjoyed the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta. Come back next summer, when it will be bigger and better!

[Brady: Does that mean prize money?]

[Auntie Obvious: No. I just thought that sounded good.]

Keep Reading…Sail On!

*A Sprite Zero and Orange Juice – we call it a “Snips” because it is orange, and we both love Ahsoka Tano.

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Uncategorized

Two-Minute Drills!

A new series is born! Two-minute drills are a new type of unboxing where I try to do the unboxing in two minutes! I am really proud of this video – please subscribe to BradyTheBookSailor!

Categories
Reading Regatta

Reading Regatta Update

Ahoy, mateys! We thought we’d pop in to give you an update on the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta!

Brady: So far, I’ve read Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and I’ve started Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Oh, and so far my kickstarter, I got to count Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Auntie Obvious: Well, I just finished reading The Hobbit, and I’ve started on The Fellowship of the Ring. BOOM! 250 Points! WOOOHOOOO! How many points have YOU earned so far, Brady?

Brady: About 3,500.

Auntie Obvious:

Auntie Obvious:

Auntie Obvious: Ok. Well done, then.

Brady: How about if we change the rules?

Auntie Obvious: Why would we change the rules?

Brady: Because I’m totally eating your lunch. We should make it competitve.

Auntie Obvious: OK, I’m listening. What do you have in mind?

Brady: I’ll give you 3,250 bonus points, which makes us tied.

Auntie Obvious: What’s the catch?

Brady: Two Twinkies.

Auntie Obvious: Nope. How about half a Twinkie?

Brady: One Twinkie.

Auntie Obvious: OK. Pleasure doing business with you, Sir.

Let us know in the comments how you are doing with your summer reading! If you missed the start of the Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta, you can pick your own start and end date! Kids, if you have challenged a grownup and you are totally eating their lunch, maybe give them some extra points to make it more interesting!

Categories
Reading Regatta

Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta!

Ahoy, Mateys! It’s summertime! And we have a special challenge: the First Annual Brady The Book Sailor Summer Smackdown Reading Regatta! A regatta is a boat race, but this will be a reading race! Here’s how it works:

Start Date: Monday, May 31st
End Date: Sunday, August 8th

How to Earn Points: Grab your Magic Purple Bookmark (OK, just a regular bookmark will do) and start reading! Invite your friends and family to participate, and earn points for each book based on the system below.

TierPagesKidsAdults
Cruising1-10010050
Rowing101-599500250
White Water Rafting600+1,000500

Bonus Kickstart for Kids: Kids get to count the last two books that they read before the start date!

[Auntie Obvious: What do Adults get?]

[Brady: You get to choose your own bedtime.]

[Auntie Obvious: And who designed those points? A kid?]

[Brady: Correct. You got a problem with the points? Scared you might get left in my wake?]

[Auntie Obvious: No way! Let’s do this thing!]

[Brady: It is on like Donkey Kong!]

[Auntie Obvious: Do you even know what Donkey Kong is?]

[Brady: Uh, oh. Here comes Auntie’s sad story about how she had to write reports without the Internet and how she had to get up and walk to the television to change the channel.]

[Auntie Obvious: Right. And there were only four of them.]

[Brady: Hey, what’s the prize?]

[Auntie Obvious: We don’t have prizes in the budget, but reading is its own reward. If the top point-getters would like, we’ll give them a shout-out in a future blog post.]

[Brady and Auntie: Ladies and gentlemen, OPEN YOUR BOOKS!!!!!!!]

Let us know what you are reading, and keep us posted on your points by leaving us comments throughout the summer!

[Brady: Come on kids, let’s show those adults who’s boss!]