Tom and Harry 4: Little Red Riding Hood

This story was inspired by the Hoodwinked Movies. Help a Book Sailor out: if you know where I can watch Hoodwinked 3: The Fellowship of the Hood, please let me know in the comments!

When we last left Tom and Harry, Harry won a battle on the flying Roombas with Isaac Bonjour. As he was falling in the water, Isaac yelled, “you have not seen the last of mmmmeeeeeeee!” After he was in the water, Isaac yelled, “I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White star Line about all of this.” Harry said, “Oh no, not again. I hated that movie, too much kissy, kissy.”

And Tom, Harry and Ronald went back to Critterville, and lived happily ever after. At least they thought so!

Isaac Bonjour had caught the attention of a passing cruise ship by yelling, “Please help me, I am just a little squirrel floating in the ocean, with no water.” The girl who was standing at the railing was reading a newspaper that had an ad; it read, “Wanted Isaac Bonjour -$2,000 reward” and the picture looked exactly like the little squirrel she saw floating in the water! She shrugged! She thought, “Maybe it is just a coincidence, I’ll have the ship stop and pick him up.”

Isaac said to the girl who was wearing a red hoodie and red jeans and was holding a basket, “Thank you. You never told me your name.” The girl replies, “My name is………But Isaac interrupts her and says, “Ok, Little Red Riding Hood”, making up a name. The girl says, “That is not my actual…………” But Isaac interrupts her again and says, “Do you ever get money for running errands?”  “Yes I do, on special occasions,” replied the girl, “And sometimes my Granny gives me money to take muffins and other sweets to her.” Isaac said, “Well, what if you could make that money without doing any work?”  She said, “I would like to learn how to do that.”

Isaac says, “I would like to win the Crittersville Cup, which would give me $10 Million.

Which I could turn into Euros and be the richest squirrel in France. But I need money to fix my Roomba and enter the contest. Do you see that island, the Crittersville Bank is there? That is where I will get money, but I need you to help me get the money from the bank.” So, the girl and Isaac take a lifeboat to the island.

Meanwhile, Tom and Harry are headed for the airport to pick up their friend Wolfy. Their friend said, “Hey boys, that flight from the woody woods took a very long time, because of turbulence. So, how have you guys been?” Harry said, “Good” and Tom said “Alright. How are you?” Wolfy said, “OK, but I heard about something you will want to know. I saw that little brat in the red hoodie. She was selling her granny’s cookies to people, but when I asked for one, she sprayed me with wolf repellant! When I landed, I saw her and Isaac Bonjour leaving the Crittersville Bank with bags of cash, and they were riding on a Roomba. Isaac had a certificate as an entry for the grand Critterville race.” Tom said, “I have seen Isaac cheat in races before.” Harry says, “That guy defines evil!”

Wolfy, Tom and Harry set off to register for the big race. The rules were that all roombas must be set at the speed of forty miles per hour, or must have a seat belt if go they go faster. No roombas can use their jets or they will be fined $10 million, also, no eating on the Roomba during the race because that can cause motion sickness and be messy. Isaac Bonjour walks up behind them and says, “Bon jour, are you guys here for the race?” Wolfy said, “I’m going to call 911, because you’re a known criminal.” Isaac said, “Gotta go! Bye!” And then Little Red came behind him and sprayed Wolfy with Wolf Repellant. Wolfy said, “Hey, come back here” to Little Red Riding Hood and got out his Roomba, Lady Roomba, and rode it to where Little Red was. Little Red escaped, but accidentally dropped the goodie basket. Wolfy picked it up and said, “Finally! I got my hands on one of these stupid goodies!

“Oh, this tastes like the convenience store goodies! There’s a convenience store in Woody Woods, and these taste just like those. Little Red is a faker!” So Wolfy called Little Red’s Grandma and told her about what Little Red had done. So the grandma got a Roomba and decided to race against Little Red to make her pay for her crimes. Wolfy said to the Grandma once she arrived, “Yeah, sorry about pretending to be you and stuff. That didn’t go exactly the way we staged it.” “That’s OK, slugger,” said the Grandma. “So now, let’s race Little Red.”

“And Isaac Bonjour,” Harry added.

Tom said, “Are you ready, Harry?” “Born ready!” said Harry. Wolfy said, “Let’s throw Little Red and Isaac into prison and get that $10 million!”

They walked out on the stadium. Ronald had had a seat belt attached. Rigged Roomba was completely fixed and was as dangerous as ever. Rigged Roomba said, “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”

“Come on, man,” said Harry. “You had to Rickroll us?” “Sorry,” said Isaac. “It’s just one of the settings.”

Wolfy said, “Not cool, dude.” But right then, the race official fired his gun. And Little Red was on a sugar high, so she drove the Roomba. And Isaac was in back, handing her Kool-Aids, and once she chugged them, she threw the cups into the way of Tom, Harry, Wolfy, and the Grandma.

Our heroes dodged all of the litter that Little Red threw at them. And then Isaac started giving Little Red candy and doughnuts.  And once the finish was near, Little Red wasn’t looking so good, so Isaac went 41 miles per hour, and used his jets to get them over the finish line. Little Red and Isaac went flying, and Isaac was fined $10 million dollars for not wearing their seat belts while on the Roomba and for eating while driving and for using their Roomba’s jets. And what happened to Little Red, we humble authors cannot tell you exactly, because…well, it’s too messy.

The cheaters obviously didn’t win, so the trophy and the $10 million went to our heroes.

THE END.