Hoodie Man

Hoodie Man 5: The Cure

He is the Bearer of the Zipper. He is the Crusader of the Coats. No tank top is safe. It’s Hoodie Man! But every hero has to have a nemesis, and his is Winter Gear Girl, who betrayed him and made his other enemy, Stinky Tank top, more powerful.

They framed Hoodie Man for it and he and his friends, Sweater Man and Jill Monsoon were sent to jail. But they escaped and they teamed up with Windbreaker to get information about taking away Stinky Tank Top’s new powers. They found a scientist at Economics Land who filled them in about how stinky Tank top became so powerful. Let’s just say the detergent didn’t work. As we left Hoodie Man 4, we knew how Winter Gear Girl teamed up against Hoodie Man, and wanted to rule the city together.

On with our story.

Our story begins at Economics Land, where Hoodie Man says, “Wow, that is a good story, bravo.” Masked Fleecer said, “I liked the story, but aren’t you going to study? Isn’t that what scientists do?” The scientist said, “What a brilliant idea. Let me take you to my secret lair.” He took them to the library. Wind Breaker said, “What are we supposed to be doing here?” The scientist said, “Absolutely nothing. You can go over to the golden books’ kiddie section, and learn if that little train ever made it to the top of the mountain. In the mean time I will study up on genetic mutations.”

So Hoodie Man and his friends went over to the Kiddie section but found a book on genetic mutations. “Kids are so smart these days”, said Windbreaker. Mean while the scientist was looking through the adult genetic mutation section but said, “These books are mostly useless, but wait, what is this one over here?” He pulled out a book titled, “How to air fry a chicken in your washing machine.” Another useless book. But before he put it back, he flipped to the back of the book and it said, “Preview for our next book, Genetic Mutations and how to cure them.” But where was that book? ……..suspense………..

“Hey, Mr. Scientist” said Sweater Guy, “Look what we found in the Kiddie section.” The scientist said, “Those new librarians are so bad, it’s probably hard to move here from their wrestling career. But, we now have the right book.” They read the book and there was a chapter titled, ………suspense…….

 “Removing odors from Tank Top Monsters.”

“Ah, ha, either this has happened before or the writer is good at preparation,” said the scientist. The book said, “Go to the jungle, and you will find a large temple – and inside are magical stone carvings called the Elderphants. If you tell them who you are and ask them how to solve your problem, they may give you an answer. They use special elderberry juice which is capable of solving every problem. It is a cure for everything, including stinky tank top monsters. If the stones give you their Elderberry juice, you should sprinkle it on Stinky Tank Top; however, it has not been tested yet, so try it and see.”  Hoodie Man and the team drove his car the jungle, followed the instructions, and received a jar of Elderberry juice from the Elderphants. Before he left he thanked them and gave them his business card. When Hoodie Man returned to his car, his keys were missing. “Oh, no, who would take my car keys. And look, they also took my copy of “The Little Engine that Could” which I have to take back to the library.“ ………….suspense………

Then he saw a little monkey holding his keys and his book. Fortunately, Sweater guy had a banana in his lunch bag and tried to use it to get the keys and book back but the Monkey was too fast and took the banana and kept the keys and book. Hoodie Man said, “Ok, lets see if the juice can fix anything.” And sprinkled some on the monkey. Suddenly, the Grim Reaper appeared to the monkey (but not to anyone else) and said, “Monkey do you want to go to the good place or the bad place. Right now I am thinking Bad Place!” The monkey looked very scared and dropped the keys and the book and took off in a flash before the Grim Reaper could catch him. Hoodie Man said, “That monkey sure had a change of heart so I guess the juice works. Let’s go find Stinky Tank Top. Wait a minute, where is my GPS? That monkey!!! Well, I guess we will have to go back to the Elderphants to ask directions to get out of here and find Stinky.” So they went back to the Elderphants who said, “We can help you get to Stinky Tank Top, go into the next room and you will see a portal called, The Nemesis Portal, and step inside.” WWWWOOOOOSSSSSHHHHH!!! ……..suspense……..

They appeared right next to a gigantic castle. They walked toward the gates and opened them. Hoodie Man walked in and shouted, “Where are you, Stinky? I’ll bet you thought I was a goner when I went into that sewer. Wrong. Here I am stronger than ever. So, it is time for our final battle.” Stinky walked down a staircase and said, “Well, well, if it isn’t my arch nemesis, little tiny Hoodie Man.”

Hoodie Man said, “Insults can’t defeat me, but me and my friends can defeat you.”

Stinky Tank Top said, “Want to bet on that?” Hoodie man said, “Are we playing games now? Why don’t you come a little closer if you are so sure?” Stinky Tank Top ran at Hoodie Man and tried to hit him with his large fist, but he slipped and missed him.  Hoodie Man laughed and said, “So it has come to this.” Hoodie Man decided on a final insult, he would give Stinky a wet willie. Hoodie man licked his finger and climbed up Stinky’s sweaty body and stuck his finger in Stinky’s big ear.  Hoodie Man took out the elderberry juice and poured the whole jar on Stinky Tank Top’s head. But it splashed off Stinky’s sweaty head and on to Hoody Man. ……….suspense……….

“Well, this is NOT what I wanted to have happen,” said Hoodie Man. At that moment, the Grim Reaper appeared to Hoodie Man and said, “Well, someone has been a really bad boy. That is why you are getting sent down! Really, down!” Of course, Hoodie Man thought of the Devil’s place, but it was not that bad. He woke up finding himself with a pick axe in front of a mine opening with a sign that read, “All dirt miners enter here.” Hoodie Man thought, “This is not good at all!”


Will Hoodie Man escape from the dirt mine? Will he find a valuable ore or just a hunk of dirt….or…..? What happened to his friends?

Tune in next time for Hoodie Man 6 – Working in the Dirt Mine.

18 replies on “Hoodie Man 5: The Cure”

I’m really, really, really sorry about the cliffhanger, everyone. I’m pretty sure Brady only puts them in because he knows it makes me Koo Koo for Cocoa Puffs.


Now calm down Auntie O. I call it a suspense break making the demand for hoodie man rise is a good thing! now calm down like, now we are losing fans by the second! remember the new book WINDBROKEN is coming to bradythebooksailor in February!


DUDE. You have no idea how badly my generation was traumatized by having Han Solo frozen in carbonite at the end of The Empire Strikes Back. Do you know how long we had to wait to find out what happened? THREE LONG YEARS!!!!!!! There should be a law that all stories have to wrap up nicely at the end. In fact, I should be in charge of ALL stories to make sure they have an appropriate ending.


This one will hoodie man six and seven are coming it’ll just be a little while like 3 weeks ore so before hoodie man wraps up. (I may bring it back if I get bored out of my mind)


Dude. Do you really have writer’s block, or do you just want to keep me in suspense? Still, though, a windbreaker story will be cool!


And it is a happy ending don’t worry stinky crushes the city and Stinky and winter gear girl rule happily ever after


Oh, didn’t you hear? I’m in charge of all endings now, and I’m sorry to report that my new “Department of Awesome Endings With All Storylines Appropriately Wrapped Up” has refused to issue you a license for that particular ending. Please feel free to try again later. Thank you for contacting the Department of Awesome Endings With All Storylines Appropriately Wrapped Up!


You didn’t hear? Every writer has to send me their stories now before they can get posted MUAHAHAHAHAHA! UNLIMITED POWER!!!!!!!!

I mean, I’ll use it for good, of course. But…MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!


And by the way I had Jon Faveru, George Lucas, and Robert Rodreguez raid the dpt. of awesome endings ore what ever it”s called


Oh, well that explains why someone left a Darksaber in the office restroom. IT’S MINE NOW!!!!!! UNLIMITED POWER!!!!!!!!


well that’s a bummer but I have the lyrics right here! Workin in a dirt mine goin down down down working in a dirt mine diamonds can’t be fou ound!


I’m sorry, did you clear that with my new “Department of Changing Song Lyrics” before doing that? I just finished sending a sternly worded letter to “Weird Al” Yankovic.


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