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Hoodie Man

Hoodie Man 3: A Tale of Two Hoodies

He is the Bearer of the Zipper. He is the Crusader of the Coats. No tank top is safe. It’s Hoodie Man! But every hero has to have a nemesis, and his is Winter Gear Girl, who betrayed him and made his other enemy, Stinky Tank top, more powerful, and framed Hoodie Man for it. He and his friends, Sweater Man and Jill Monsoon were sent to jail. The Masked Fleecer helped Hoodie Man and his friends escape. They went to take away Stinky Tank Top’s new powers. Masked Fleecer grabbed a bucket of clean water and good detergent and threw it on Stinky Tank Top. “Oh no! My mold is falling off, and I don’t stink anymore.” Stinky Tank top went home and got some hot glue and glued all of the old mold back on. “Aahh, that feels better,” said Stinky Tank Top. But when he tried to glue mold on Winter Gear Girl, she screamed and ran away!

Now on with our story.

Hoodie Man ran out of prison, called the Rainbow Institute, and said, “Wow. That feels good.” Masked Fleecer said, “What did you do with the Jailhouse Hoodie?” Hoodie Man said, “Didn’t you notice, I took off my regular hoodie and put on the Jailhouse hoodie. Sweater Guy and Jill Monsoon ran out of the prison. When they saw Hoodie Man with the different hoodie, Sweater Guy said, “Please change out of that hoodie, you look like a cartoon drawn in 2020, that strange year!” Hoodie Man said, “OK, I’ll change” as he ducked behind a big rock.

Right after he changed, the four friends heard a big THUD, then another THUD, then another THUD. They looked up and saw Stinky Tank Top stomping toward them, who said, “You may have dunked me in detergent to get rid of my mold, but life is always good when you have a handy glue gun around.” Stinky said, “Now I will get my revenge!” Jill Monsoon asked, “When did someone splash detergent all over you?” Stinky said, “Well, it is kind of a long story.” Hoodie Man said, ”Now is the perfect time to escape because Stinky is distracted.” And they went into a sewer.

Hoodie Man said, “I know this place is gross, but I know exactly where we need to go.” He found a door with a worn out sign that read, “Hornet Hive” and Hoodie Man knocked and said, “I would like to speak with the Windbreaker.”

A voice coming from behind the door said, “OK, come on in.” Hoodie Man walked inside and went up to a bar with rusty stools and said, “This is the bar called the Pollenator.” Masked Fleecer said, “I see where they are going with the whole bee theme.” Hoodie Man said to the bartender, “Where is the Windbreaker?” Then a voice from behind Hoodie Man said, “I am right here!” Hoodie Man turned around and saw……………suspense……..

He saw a dark figure in a shiny black coat with a pullover top with three horns on his head. The figure said, “I am the Tempest King, I am the Caller of the Wind, and they call me, Windbreaker!” Hoodie Man asked the Windbreaker, “How can we stop Stinky Tank Top from doing his evil plans?” Windbreaker said, “Spin around three times, while holding your nose with one hand and sticking your finger in your ear with the other hand.”  “OK”, said Hoodie Man, but are you sure this will work?” Windbreaker said, “No, I was just Kidding! But I do have tabs on a government science lab that may have the answer and you should check there.” Hoodie Man said, “How do we get there?” Windbreaker pointed to himself and said, “Me.”

………… Suspense…….….

Windbreaker looked at the bartender and said, “Scarfskin, can you get us five honey stingers for the road, non-alcoholic please.” Jill Monsoon put a roll of cash on the bar and said, “I like your leather jacker, Scarfskin, and I’ll pay.”  Scarfskin put five reddish, orangish, goldish, drinks on the bar. Windbreaker said, “Scarfskin, you did a really good job for your first day working here.” The four friends thought the drinks would be sweet because of the name. But they did not know two things. First, Scarfskin put really red hot ghost peppers in the stingers instead of honey , and that Scarfskin was really………..suspense………

Winter Gear Girl in disguise. (Authors note: This could get interesting)

Windbreaker said, “There is a path through this tunnel in the sewer that can lead us to the airport where my plane is and it will be a quick flight to the government labs.” They all got on to the plane, and all started drinking their stingers. Hoodie Man covered his mouth and said, “So Hot, So Hot!” Masked Fleecer yelled, “AAAIIIEEE. Are Fleeces flammable?” Sweater Guy said, ”Stomach. On. Fire.” As he passed out on the floor. Jill Monsoon, said, “This stinger is great. Thank you, Scarfskin. But then the peppers hit and she said, “Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. I’ll get you for that Scarfskin.” Windbreaker took a big drink of his stinger, and spit it out all over the controls of the plane. The heat caused the direction monitor to blank out and just show an exclamation mark. And none of the other controls would work.  “Oops” said Windbreaker, “and we are out over the ocean. We have to all jump out of the plane before it crashes.” He handed everyone a parachute and they jumped out.

They landed in the water which was, thank goodness, nice and cold. Hoodie Man saw a big sign that read, “SECRET GOVERNMENT SCIENCE LAB” and said to the Windbreaker, “We made it. We made it.” So, they swam to the lab and Hoodie man ran inside. He stared in awe at all of the contraptions. There was a machine that made hoodies for hot summer days, a car with only one wheel, a stove that only went to cold, a refrigerator that only went to warm, a telephone that only called animals who had a phone, and other contraptions that no one could ever use. “Yep, it is a government plant alright”, said Windbreaker, ”but we need to find information on Stinky Tank Top.” Hoodie Man saw a covered up contraption in the corner of the lab. When he took the cover off, he saw a big washing machine. He rubbed some dirt on the jail house hoodie and put it in the washer with some detergent. Then, he hit the START button.  …………….suspense………..

Hoodie Man waited for three seconds and the machine signal said DONE! When he took out the Jail House Hoodie, it was completely clean. Hoodie Man called over the rest of his friends and said, “Come on guys, look at this.” This must have been the washing machine that turned Stinky into Stinky Tank Top when they forgot to put in the detergent. So, they put some more dirt on the Jail house Hoodie and put it back in the washer without the detergent.  In three seconds, the hoodie came out and started biting Hoodie Man’s leg. Windbreaker said that could be what created evil Stinky Tank Top but to test it, he put some more dirt on the hoodie and put it back in the washer but this time with the detergent. In three seconds, it came out but it was still evil, the detergent did not work. It will not fix evil. Hoodie Man pushed the evil hoodie back into the washer and locked it in so it could not do any more harm. Hoodie man said,” Oh no. If the washer won’t turn Stinky Tank top back to normal, what will?”

The End

What will turn Stinky Tank Top back to normal? Will Hoodie Man ever order another stinger? What is Winter Gear Girl up to?

Tune in next time for Hoodie Man 4, Project Tank Top.

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